I consider myself a gray-a demisexual, but I live in a place where this sexuality is barely know, so I find it pretty hard for me to come out. I've been thinking about coming out as bisexual, but my lack of interest in any sort of relationship or sexual attraction makes this definition sounds pretty wrong for me even though I almost "act" like one(aesthetic attraction is pretty strong and comes to me quite frequently). Also coming out as asexual is going to give many problems when I say that I find someone good looking... So how am I supposed to come out? :bang:
I suppose, You don't need to specifically walk up to someone and say, "Hey, I'm_____." Forgo the labels and simply act how you feel is right. Perhaps mention someone is attractive, if the topic comes up. If someone asks about your sexual orientation, perhaps reply with a shrug and "I'm not really interested in sexuality/relationships. I just think guys/girls/both/etc. look nice." But, of course, say it how you would. There's no law saying you have to come out, if you're not sure how to. Just, don't hide it if it comes up. ---------- Post added 26th Jun 2014 at 09:26 AM ---------- Perhaps that made little to no sense, but really, sometimes the opportunity to come out will present itself in subtle ways. Don't use labels if you don't know where you fit. Labels are too constricting anyways. Feel free to just describe how you perceive yourself and others.
You come out how you want to come out stitting down with someone face to face text letter whatever way makes you feel comfable
I don't think coming out as asexual is a good thing here. At least as far as i know not many people would understand this concept. @toast said something nice, maybe you can show your friends your interest for the same sex or your lack or interest for someone your friends talk about. by the way: where do you live?
I'm asexual as well, but I never plan to come out as asexual. Why? Because it's none of people's beeswax. In my opinion, you should only come out as asexual if you are 100% sure you have to or want to, like if your friends won't stop pressuring you to get a sex life or whatever. Otherwise, like natalia said, they might not understand the concept, or worse, they'll start making fun of you and cause a shitstorm. However, coming out about your romantic orientation is a different story. If you're homoromantic, biromantic, etc. you should approach this like any other coming out. You can write a letter. Or sit them down and talk. Or mention it casually. Whatever you feel is best. But don't forget, that you have no obligation to tell anyone about your orientation.
I'd give it a while first. I thought I was asexual for a bit, but someone said "Maybe you're just not attracted yet" and they were right. Of course this might not be the case for you, and if you're absolutely sure, go ahead! I would just come out and say "I am demisexual/grey A and that means that...." and explain it.
It made completely sense to me and that's a very good idea in my opinion. I think I'll use this method or something similar to this. Thanks for the advice. ---------- Post added 29th Jun 2014 at 06:58 PM ---------- The way Toast described sounds to be a good way for me, thanks for your advice. I agreed with what you said, some may preffer talk to the person they want to come out face to face or send letters if they don't think it's a good idea. ---------- Post added 29th Jun 2014 at 06:59 PM ---------- Yeah, many people don't even believe asexuals exist... I live in Brazil, why? ---------- Post added 29th Jun 2014 at 07:07 PM ---------- I don't plan on coming out to every stranger I happen to find in front of me, it was just in case someone pressurized me like you said. Well... I preffer just telling them that I don't like this sorta thing. I know that's not my obligation, but some people around me doesn't seem to understand it, unfortunately. Thanks for your advice. ---------- Post added 29th Jun 2014 at 07:20 PM ---------- Yeah, maybe I just need to wait for a while. I'm still young, but the problem is that many people are going to annoy me if I tell them that I don't know what my sexuality is and many people from my country don't believe that asexual people exist. I'd like to find out my sexuality as soon as I could, but I fit better into the asexual label for now.
To be honest, i didn't know asexuals exited before starting to come out. Wanted to know if you live in a big city or not. I live in the suburbs, so even being gay is hard here. And it's not only my opinion, other gay people i know seem to struggle with it and we find SP city a looot more acceptive with lgbt.
