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Seriously. I would like for people to shut up. : |

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by Mind Freak, Aug 25, 2008.

  1. Mind Freak

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    Well not you guys.
    But people are always asking me about if i like any girls or if i'm gay or saying that i'm gay when I've told them ALL I'm not and I had girlfriends in the past.

    It seems like all high schoolers are interested in is dating and I honestly couldn't care less about it anymore! I'm like um the Christmas story guy when it comes to going out with people; BA HUMBUG! Or something like that. Do y'all know what I'm talking about??

    Anyway.

    For the past year or so I've just been taking things as they go; if I see a girl I think I might be interested in I'll talk to her; same for guys except its more friendly and not really flirty. But its not really all that important for me to date anyone.

    I like only having to focus on myself and friends, and not having to worry about shunning a girlfriend for friends and not having to worry about getting called queer or fruity since I'm not out. Plus I'm shy with dating stuff so its WAY more trouble than its worth for me.

    But I'm starting to think I may as well tell people I'm bi since 65% of people think I'm gay. Lol. I'm not super feminine but I'm not all that masculine either. I guess 50/50. I think I posted this already. Oh well I want to get it off my chest again.

    This is so frustrating. : |

    Maybe I'm just weird, but I'm not finding anyone in any classes that I'm even interested in.

    I'll go "oh she's pretty" or "he's cute" but that's about it... Could it be that I've been hiding my sexuality for so long (nearly 4 years) I'm starting to get numb to everything?

    Eh. Whatever thanks for reading. :slight_smile:
     
  2. Jebs

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    Dude, don't worry so much.. I didn't date anyone for the last 2 years of High School. There were just more important things then 'puppy love'. Who cares what people say.
     
  3. Cool Beans

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    I can relate to that feeling of not particularly wanting to date. I can't date since I'm not out (not that there'd be anyone to date if I was), and although it sucks sometimes, I'm kind of glad I don't have to worry about all that. None of that "Oh, we're not dating; we're just talking" stuff or having to change my display name on MySpace to "So-and-so is my life my everything" or just generally having to base my very identity on who I'm dating. It's nice. And if you're happy not dating, then good for you. Enjoy your life and don't worry about being with someone.

    As for the people in your classes, I suppose it is possible that you've desensitized yourself to being interested in them by hiding your sexuality completely. Or maybe you're just not around the kinds of people who interest you. For all the attractive guys at my school, I'd say I'm actually interested in, like, two. I'm sure that at some point there will be someone you're really interested in.

    And hey, if you want to tell people that you're bi, then perhaps that idea merits further consideration. If you think the reactions of those around you will be mostly positive, the ball is pretty much in your court on that one. But you do really have to think about the reactions people may have. My personal belief is this: they may not seem too bigoted when they just suspect and ask questions, but that may change if you actually confirm your orientation. Just a word of caution that may or may not be necessary. It's probably nothing.

    To make a long story short (too late, I know), it's okay. You seem to be doing alright just taking things as they come.
     
  4. Wander

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    I, too, don't really care for dating in high school. Most relationships formed now would fall apart quickly and would inevitably be wastes of time, money, and effort. I'll save the dating for when I'm financially independent, and when I can actually tolerate the people in my age group.
     
  5. Lexington

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    You state your status as "not out at all". I don't question that, or even the wisdom of not being out. But it seems that these questions get asked a lot about people when they're closeted. Why? I guess because it's a mystery. It's an unknown for people to ponder and puzzle and wonder aloud about. But once you come out? People stop caring. I'm not quite sure I understand why, but you're much more likely to hear about Anderson Cooper than Neil Patrick Harris. Because AC "may be", but NPH "is".

    Not saying you should come out, or even take steps that way. Just a point to ponder.

    Lex
     
  6. Derek the Wolf

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    Lex, nice. He's got a point. If you're in a position to come out to your friends, you might as well. Because once you tell them the truth, they'll lost interest. Wondering is worth their time, and you're only giving them more fuel by denying it. That said, don't let them pressure you into anything. Your sexuality is your business, and if you don't want to tell them, then don't worry about it. Peer pressure can be a powerful force, don't succumb to it. I guarantee you'll get a lot farther in the long run by doing what you know to be right than what someone else tells you. Follow your gut on this one.
     
  7. Mind Freak

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    I suck at following my instincts!
    I never know which to pick! Lol.

    First I would have to tell my mom; I think she'll be fine with it but it'll be awkward and I hate awkward.

    If I tell people at school first my step brother would find out and blab to his dad or my mom and i wouldn't have control over how they found out.
     
  8. Lexington

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    Your mom would probably be the best bet to start out with. Not only does it sound like she'll be cool with it, but once she knows, you can discuss the ramifications of telling other people with her.

    Awkward? Yep. But the first one always is.

    Lex