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Homophobic everyone

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by ardard, Jun 27, 2014.

  1. ardard

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    I lie in a family where literally everyone in my family is homophobic except me. My mom and dad are homophobic, my sister is homophobic, my grandparents are homophobic, my other grandparents are homophobic, my other other grandparents are homophobic, my aunt is homophobic, my uncle is homophobic, my cousins are homophobic, even my parents friends are homophobic!

    I don't know what to do, I know that i have to wait until I am able to support myself to come out to them but i don't know if even then i will be able to come out because there is no one in my family i can turn to. UGH any advice?:confused::tears:
     
  2. wandergirl

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    You don't need to come out to them yet. You shouldn't come out to someone unless you re 500% confident and that you will be able to deal with their reaction.

    It might be a good idea to come out to other people first, friends or acquaintances who won't make a big deal out of it and may even be supportive. This way you can become more confident.
    Also, you could bring the lgbt topic sometime with your family, maybe when there's something on the news on tv? Some people are homophobic because they have never had any contact with gay people they care about and they just repeat what society thinks is right.
    Take your time. you don't need to come out yet. But when you are ready and you feel they should know, we can come up with an idea... maybe a letter or THE talk.
     
  3. ResidentTheatreKid

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    My family are as homophobic as hell... But I hope that's just because they don't understand. And if I came out to any of them It would change their minds.

    But maybe not, which is why I probably won't come out until I can be independent :slight_smile:
     
  4. Archie

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    I'm sorry I don't have anything useful to say since I'm in the same situation and would rather keep hiding and not give my family a reason to be disappointed in me as opposed to coming out and being happy, but I guess right now there's nothing in your life that makes your happiness more important than your 'perfect' life as a family. Hopefully the day will come when you're involved with someone so special that it makes you brave enough to risk disappointing your family - and honestly I think if they really love you they'll be ok with it eventually. It might take some time, obviously it's big news and you can't expect everyone to adjust to it in the blink of an eye. But I reckon in the end it all works out one way or the other. I wouldn't know, but that's what people say I guess.

    So basically right now I wouldn't do anything. I think when it's time to come out you'll know it, and you'll want to do it so much that you'll go from 'I think I can sacrifice my happiness so I don't shake the dynamics of my family' to 'I want to be happy and my family will just have to come to terms with my idea of happiness'.