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I've accepted myself, but I don't know where to go from here.

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by idefygravity, Jun 28, 2014.

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  1. idefygravity

    idefygravity
    Regular Member

    Joined:
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    Gender:
    Female
    Sexual Orientation:
    Lesbian
    It took me a really long time to accept myself as being a lesbian. I think I've kinda known for years, but never wanted to believe it. At first, ever since I was little, I had these... the best word to describe it is interests in women. Like teachers and friends and other people around me. It was like I wanted to know more about them. Honestly, that could be my paranoid self overthinking my childhood. Over the last few years, I've made a lot of new friends and lost a lot of old ones. My friends now are all pretty close. All of them are part of the LGBT community. About a year ago, one of my lesbian friends told me she liked me. I didn't like her, and I told her that. Then, towards the beginning of the school year, I really liked one of my friends. She had helped me get through a lot. I gave up on it pretty quickly, because she had a girlfriend, and one they'd broke up, she only spoke about guys. One of my best friends is a lesbian too. I met her at the beginning of this year, and honestly, she's the closest person to me right now. She was in the middle of a relationship when I told her what had been bugging me for a long time. That I liked her. Then I immediately continued with that I wanted her to be happy with her girlfriend. That I didn't want it to change anything. She agreed. Throughout my time in high school, I've been asked out by a few guys, or talked to some a lot, but I never really felt anything. For a really long time I didn't know where I stood. I've tried to convince myself that I like guys. Until about a week ago, I really wished I did.

    Now, I'm over it. My friends have accepted me for who I am, and they told me that before I came out. Now I've decided to accept myself. And that feels so good and relieving.

    Back to those months where I tried to convince myself that I was straight... my parents think I like guys. I don't think they're questioning my sexuality at all. My parents are divorced, but I live with my mom and her boyfriend. My dad and stepmom don't have a good relationship with me.

    It feels so good to accept myself, but I have no idea where to go from here. I guess at this point, I'm just asking for advice.
     
    #1 idefygravity, Jun 28, 2014
  2. Hadalittlelamb

    Hadalittlelamb
    Regular Member

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    Location:
    Texas
    Gender:
    Female
    Sexual Orientation:
    Questioning
    Hello!
    I don't have any advice, sorry. I have less experience with exploring my sexuality than you so if I did have advice you wouldn't want it. Now your thinking, "Why are you replying then?" I just wanted to congratulate you on excepting yourself for who you are. That is a very hard thing to do, and it's so awesome that you did. All I can say is stay with your group of friends because they will support you, from what it sounds like.
    Excepting yourself in general is difficult, so being able to except your new found sexual orientation is supper rad. So again Congrats and Good Luck!

    Hope is the thing...
    "Hope is the thing with feathers
    That perches in the soul,
    And sings the tune without the words,
    And never stops at all,

    And sweetest in the gale is heard;
    And sore must be the storm
    That could abash the little bird
    That kept so many warm.

    I've heard it in the chillest land,
    And on the strangest sea;
    Yet, never, in extremity,
    It asked a crumb of me."


    - Emily Dickinson
     
    #2 Hadalittlelamb, Jun 28, 2014
  3. idefygravity

    idefygravity
    Regular Member

    Joined:
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    Gender:
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    Sexual Orientation:
    Lesbian
    No, I'm glad you replied! Thanks a lot. It's really funny, because sometimes I feel like I have hardly and experience at all on that front.

    Thanks, though. :slight_smile:
     
    #3 idefygravity, Jun 29, 2014
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