I'm going to attempt to keep this short: I want to come out to my dad. He's not homophobic and when my friend asked me to come to Brighton Pride with her he actively encouraged me. Fantastic! But he thinks that 15 is too young to know. Less fantastic. I've always thought my sexuality was really obvious. Apparently it isn't because everyone is surprised when I tell them and my dad sometimes says "when Catherine (me) starts bringing boyfriends home, I'm bringing a baseball bat!" and these would be good moments to say "actually I like girls" but I just don't. I was discussing one of my guy friends with my mum, and he is very camp and probably gay. We were discussing prom (god knows why because it's next year) and my neighbour Mandy was there and she said "but I think you can't really know your sexuality until your early twenties- no, late teens?" I was fighting the urge to tell everyone "Actually, you can. It's like knowing you aren't gay. You just do." I still don't know why I didn't. But that's irrelevant. I want to tell him I'm a lesbian. Again, he isn't homophobic and literally all of my mum's friends are coupled gay men and we have them over sometimes, but I'm still nervous about telling him because I heard him say twice that 15 is too early. Thoughts?
I think that's quite an old-fashioned belief, not helped by the fact that they don't understand what you go through as an LGBTQ person. I really don't think there's a "right age" to come out, it's whenever you feel ready and you seem ready to me
That stuff always made me mad as hell when I was younger. I first realized I liked girls when I was 12, and I thus got that respone a lot. Made me so insecure I came out as bi at first. Well guess what, 8 years later I still like girls. But now people are finally stopping to tell me I'm too young to know.
I guess you're right my family are all downstairs so I'm gonna do it right now before I lose the nerve ---------- Post added 30th Jun 2014 at 08:57 PM ---------- I DID IT. HECK YES. I went down and I was like "Everyone has to listen I have something important to say. I like girls." And my dad just grinned and they all started laughing and he was like "but WHO do you like? ;D ;D" "What? No one. Just girls." "Ah. Ok then." Then I was like "I'm gonna go back upstairs with my Ribena and finish drawing" and my mum just started laughing and so did I. I feel like they knew. Darn XD
That's hilarious! I know why you'd be disappointed that the knew, but you told them in such a casual way and didn't make a big deal of it! Congrats
15 is not necessarily after puberty. I have heard of girls who only have their first period at 16, 17. Puberty has a very wide age span. I, personally, found out I'm gay when I was 13, so I wouldn't say 15 is too early. What you should do, in my opinion, is point him to stories of discovering sexuality. That'd make him realize that most teens find out at 14-15 years old. Also, if he keeps denying the fact that you're lesbian, tell him to keep an open mind about it, and even if you'll change and become straight again, he should also consider that you might remain a lesbian. I hope this helps you. Lots of love, Andy
