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I just need a little push

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by helloimmatthew, Jul 2, 2014.

  1. helloimmatthew

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    I've struggled with this for a long time and I've denied it, but I can't anymore. I'm finally starting to accept it and be okay with it. I've told my best friend and my other close friend. They couldn't be more supportive, which is great! Now I really want to tell my family because I've recently been talking to this guy and I really, really like him and I think he likes me.

    I've never felt like this about someone before and I really want to pursue a relationship with him. My only problem is that my family doesn't know I'm gay. I really want to tell them, but I'm so afraid. I don't know why I'm so scared. I know for a 100% fact that they'll have absolutely no problem with it. I know my mom and dad will be supportive, but for some reason I'm still so scared. As long as I'm happy, they'll be happy.

    I want them to know because I don't want to be in any secret relationship. I want to be openly happy with the person I'm with. For some reason I'm afraid it might make things awkward between my family members and I. I'm right on the brink of telling them, but I just need a little push. Any advice would be greatly appreciated!
     
  2. person57

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    That's great that you accepted the fact that you're gay and you're no longer in denial!! Remember, you don't have to come out to your family now. Come out whenever you feel ready :slight_smile: You can do it!! I promise you can! You'll feel way better after you tell them and you'll feel a lot happier, trust me. I understand how scared you're feeling, I had that feeling before I came out to my parents but once I told them I felt a lot better and happier!! You're sure your family will support you which is great!! Good luck on coming out to your family!! We'll support you too!! You can do it, I promise. Love who you are and always be yourself unapologetically (*hug*)
     
  3. DancingGirl

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    I am so glad you have come out to yourself. That is huge. Feel good about that. Celebrate that accomplishment. No matter how sure you are that you will be accepted by your family it is still a big deal. Give yourself a moment to really settle into yourself. When time is right you will tell them. Good luck. I wish you much happiness.
     
  4. doinitagain

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    Hello Matthew.
    As other have said, you'll know when the time is right. You might want to see how your potential relationship works out over the coming weeks and 'naturally' introduce him to you family if it feels right.
     
  5. Yossarian

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    It ill be much better for you if you tell them first; then, they won't think you are keeping secrets from them once they find out, and they will trust you more because you trusted them. You also will avoid having to hide your friendship and your activities with your boyfriend from them. You don't sound like you need a push, you sound like you have already made up your mind and are ready to tell them.
     
  6. greatwhale

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    I agree with Yossarian. Come out first, your integrity is on the line.

    Practice saying it out loud in front of a mirror. After a few minutes, get out of your room, go meet them together and tell them you are gay in the very first sentence. Say it with conviction and pride, your body language should reflect that. Give them a moment and then answer any questions.

    You can do it! :grin:
     
  7. PatrickUK

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    Even if you know your parents will be supportive there is still a fear of the unknown and you can't just shut it off, but you just have to keep telling yourself, this will be okay with them.

    It's often easier to stay in the closet when you are not dating, but once you meet someone there is a lot more to keep hidden. Ask yourself how you would feel if they somehow found out? Surely it's better to have it out in the open now?

    If your parents are reasonable people this will be okay. You are not going to cause an earthquake or shatter peace on earth by being honest with them. Take a deep breath and say the words "I am gay". Don't build up to it with a long preamble as you can talk yourself out of it while you are doing that... better to just say it.

    If you need to, try setting yourself a deadline and DO NOT let it pass (that's what I did and it somehow worked). Before the weekend maybe? If your parents don't work weekends Friday evening may be a good time as it gives them a couple of days to take it in and ask questions, if they need to. Better than having it on their minds at work.

    What do you think?

    Coming out to parents is scary, but it's also a huge relief.. for most of us.

    If you tell them, please let us know how it goes. :slight_smile: