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Do I Come Out or Not?

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by LadyGaga, Jul 4, 2014.

  1. LadyGaga

    Regular Member

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    I'm a 15 year old male bisexual (almost 16), and I've known that I was bisexual for almost 4 years (I knew at a very young age).

    I didn't tell any of my friends that I was bisexual until just last November because I used to try and change myself and be "normal" and straight, but after 3 years of trying, I finally realized that I couldn't change myself - and that this was who I am, so at first I told my best friend. It was really hard for me, but I did it, and we're now closer than ever, and so I started telling a few more of my close friends and everything's been going great. I have a great support system from my friends, and so I just want to come out publicly, and be myself around everyone.

    There's just one problem... I REALLY like this guy (I've liked him for about 5 months now), and right now, we're pretty close, and I love having him as a friend. It's really obvious that I like him and all, but he has no clue (he doesn't know I'm bisexual) because I would always lean on him, and just a bunch of stuff that make it obvious. My best friend there was a chance that he was bisexual, but it's really complicated (I did another post about if he liked me or not). I don't want to come out, and have him realize that I like him - because obviously I would LOVE if we dated, but I can't be sure on that because I honestly don't know about his sexuality, and I don't want to lose him as a friend. Also, he's in my group of friends that was recently formed (3 girls and 3 guys), and it's the first time that I've actually had a group of friends that I love hanging with (I used to only have friends that were girls but I always felt awkward being the only guy... Always). The 3 girls know I'm bisexual, and one of the three know that I like him. If he finds out that I like him though, our whole group will be awkward. Not because I'm bisexual, but just because he'll know that I've liked him for a long time, and I really value our whole group - but more importantly him. I'd rather have him as a friend than nothing. I don't want any messages saying to forget about him, or find a new group of friends, because I've never had a group of friends that I love to hang out with EVER, and I don't want to lose the group that I have, and more importantly him.
     
  2. akhc

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    unless your super good at micro-managing dating with the friend group makes the couple's problems into the friend group's problems. But that aside, you said you do alot of things that make it obvious you like him so coming out may just lead him to also finding out you like him.

    I think you should, for a time, stop with the 'leaning' and give it a few months before telling him your bisexual. Only because you probably dont want him linking the two and finding out you like him. I think it'd be more awkward keeping your orientation a secret from the guys if the girls already know. Anyways I hope you get what you want in the end. All the best
     
  3. Hey man,
    Im in a rly similar situation, like you i have a group of friends (5) and the 2 girls know im gay... Etc i like this guy not sure what to do. But basically i just wanted to tell you you're not alone in this... We pretty much have the same story.(*hug*):thumbsup:
     
  4. the gypsy

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    Just tell him how you feel and don't be afraid. If people leave you or hurt you, then you know they were never true friends worth your loyalty in the first place.

    I didn't have an easy coming out at all, and even I wish I had just had the courage to stop worrying and do it when I was your age instead of when I did.

    "You are braver than you believe, stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think." -- Christopher Robin, The Many Adventures of Winnie The Pooh
     
  5. Post something on my wall if you want to talk.
     
  6. uniqueness

    uniqueness Guest

  7. The Spark

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    I didn't come out until I had a girlfriend. I see little reason to do so otherwise, since you're not really hiding anything when you're not in a relationship.
    But if you really like that guy, definitely come out to him.