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A few shots, lunch with the parents, and coming out?

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by lostlifeguard, Jul 4, 2014.

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  1. lostlifeguard

    lostlifeguard
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    Alrighty, so I'm currently 18, and leaving with a friend for the summer about 2 hours from my family. I'm out to most people, with the exception of my family, and people who might accidentally tell my family. I know my family will be extremely accepting and supportive, so I'm not worried about that, it's just that I'm an anxious person, and this is a big thing regardless of their reaction, so it's just been hard for me to make myself do.

    Tomorrow, they're coming down to visit, and get lunch with me, and so I decided that I want to come out to them. I'm planning on taking 2.5 shots beforehand, just for some liquid courage, and hopefully this will put me in a good place for this conversation. I'm just looking for a little advice on a few things.

    1. At what point in the meal seems like a good point to do it? Towards the beginning? middle? end?

    2. My brother won't be there, and he doesn't know. He's 16, and we get along, but we're not the closest of siblings like some people are. How should I go about this? Should I have them tell him? Or should I just text him? I won't be seeing him for a few weeks.

    Any other advice you have is welcome as well :slight_smile: Thanks
     
    #1 lostlifeguard, Jul 4, 2014
  2. Theo022

    Theo022
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    Well, if you say that your family it's extremely supportive then it's doesn't matter when u will tell them, but it does matter when u feel that u can tell them. It's up to you. You need to be relax, you need to stay calm. If your not, they probably realise that and ask you what's wrong. And with your brother..well, he might don't understand (idk exactly) so you might wait with him. First you need to tell your family. It's better for you bcs he might react wrong. And don't text him, when you will talk with him talk face-to-face.
     
    #2 Theo022, Jul 4, 2014
  3. stormborn

    stormborn
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    hmm... personally i would go middle of the meal wnd have my parents tell my sibling. but that's just personal preference :shrug:
     
    #3 stormborn, Jul 4, 2014
  4. John2517

    John2517
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    When I came out to my mother today I had the opportunity to say it during lunch but chose not to.
    My advice is do it at either of these two times:
    The end so there isn't an awkwardness throughout the rest of the meal (even if you know they will be supportive it could still surprise them and create just general awkwardness).
    Or do it whenever there is a change in talking topics and the waitress just left. This is like the golden time to come out because there is a moment for you to bring it up without interrupting your parents and the chance of the waiter/waitress interrupting you is minima lied.
    As for your brother I would leave it to whoever you think can put your coming out into better words and explain it better to your brother assuming he has questions.
     
    #4 John2517, Jul 4, 2014
  5. Yossarian

    Yossarian
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    Drinking 2.5 shots at age 18 before talking to the parents doesn't sound like such a good idea to me, but you know yourself and how drinking affects you and I don't. I would suggest after the main course, but before a dessert if you want to do it at meal time. Let the parents break the news to your brother, since you two aren't that close.
     
    #5 Yossarian, Jul 5, 2014
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