I'm thinking of making today a special one. I'm going to come out to my mom tonight. Then I'm going to call my dad. Then I'm going to post the following on Facebook. How's this sound? Hi, everyone. There's something that I really want to get off of my chest. Today, on the fourth of July, people here in the US celebrate the day we declared independence from Britain. Today, I celebrate freedom from something else: the closet. I'm gay, and I'm done with lying about it and pretending to be something that I'm not. Today, I claim my freedom. If, like Britain 238 years ago, you don't like that, so be it. I am who I am and that's not changing.
Well, part 1 is complete. She kind of already knew, and was generally fine with it. She thought I was choosing to be gay because "everybody's doing it". Whatever. Part 2 might have to wait for tomorrow, and so will part 3. Actually, part 3 may not happen. My mom isn't sold on the idea of coming out on Facebook.
Is this a common thought among parents these days? I guess a lot of people are choosing to come out lately (rather than choosing to be gay). Hopefully that's what she means. Congrats on finishing step 1! Glad it went well mostly.
LOVE this part! If you feel ready to post it, I think you are most likely going to get a lot of support from your friends.
I would love to post it tonight, but I have to tell my dad first. I don't want my own father to find out over Facebook or worse, second hand. ---------- Post added 5th Jul 2014 at 12:57 AM ---------- I think she literally meant choosing to be gay. I think she's just trying to make sense of it. Apart from confiding in her a couple years ago that I was questioning, there's not much about me that would create suspicion. As she put it, I don't seem gay.
Your mom isn't coming out; you are. Stick with your original plan. She will work through her stages of denial and grief at her own pace, as will your father. Eventually she will figure out that you have no choice about being gay, only whether you are going to continue to hide it or not. I think your friends will respect your courage (dare I say "guts") in declaring your independence and standing up for yourself on Facebook. Then the news will die out and you will be free to live your life as who you are.