I am barely coming out now. I am barely getting to the point where I can refer to myself as a lesbian. I have known since I was 11 that I liked women, but until this past year I thought I was just bisexual. I was hoping. I forced myself to be with men because if I was bisexual I could just force myself to be with men. But the longer I do that, the worse I feel. The more I realize I am not interested in men at all. I am only attracted to women. So that's the point I am at now. I am out to my close friends, and my family is starting to pick up on it. So I am getting there. I just feel like 28 is old to be figuring it out finally. I wish I would have just embraced it when I was a teenager rather than hiding it.
I dont think you are ever too old. I am almost 35 and going through the same thing. Literally in denial for yeeeeeaaarssssss.. Telling myself I like boys too I can deal with liking girls somedaywhenimreadyormaybenever. Hindsight is 20/20 but we can seize the day. (Or at least try.) Good luck to you!
Hi and welcome. I know how you feel, as I didn't come out until my late 20s/early30s. It can definitely feel like you've missed out on a lot. Yet I also know a number of people who came out in their 50s, 60s and beyond and are living happy, fulfilled lives. You might be surprised how many people are in the same place as you are, coming out in their 20s or 30s, and we have a pretty good number of them here on EC. And in any case, congrats on taking the steps to come out. It's not easy, and arguably it's harder at 28 than it is at 16 or 14 for many people, so give yourself credit for taking the steps, and permission to feel whatever comes along with that.
Thank you, I am happy I am not the only one. I see so many young lesbians and I am so jealous that they are being true to themselves. I guess it's better late than never, but it would have saved me so much pain if I had come out sooner.
There's no set age on when you have to come out, everyone comes out at different times in their life depending on when they figure it out. You're totally okay! Some people figure it out when they're 5, some people figure it out when they're 45..
28 isn't bad sweetie, try 47. with marriage that went to hell and a teenage son. so for 28(*hug*) you have sooo much time ahead of you enjoy it and enjoy the real you.
hei. i am 28 too. i can so relate to your situation as i am myself struggling with this right now. i still am not out at all. not even to my closest friends. i have been living in denial for like past 15 years. but as they say.. its never too late. i'd like to read some of the suggestions/replies to this post. i think i need them too...
Don't worry about the younger lesbians - their journey was different. Don't look back at what might have been, yesterday has been and gone. Live for the present and keep your eyes firmly fixed on the future, with all it has to offer. You are at the beginning of something new, but you are far from alone. At first it can seem daunting and a bit nerve wracking, but if you stick around and keep talking to us we'll share the journey with you. (*hug*)
I realized it right before I turned 16, and I thought THAT was too old. I went through an "if you were a real lesbian, you would've realized it sooner, and you wouldn't have told all of your friends that you were an aromantic asexual" phase. So, to put it simply, if 28 is "too old," so is 16.
Nonsense! You are doing amazingly well. I'm going to keep stalking you around these message boards and reminding you of how far you've come since you joined this forum... you can run, but you can't hide. Are you scared? I was older than you when I finally got myself sorted out and told anyone I'm gay and now look at me... I'm nearly married, all mortgaged up with a car and two dogs to feed.
Hahaha! Feel free to do so! It's good to have people remind me. But in all seriousness, it sounds crazy, but I feel old saying that I'm going to be 21... I feel like my "best days" are behind me now (even though my teenage years were such a bore).
You know, our culture has a bit of an unhealthy obsession with youth. Age is more mental than physical. If you are still pushing your boundaries , being creative, having fun, and exploring what life has to offer you can be young at heart no matter how old you are. You will even look younger. Personally my life has been all uphill after high school (although sometimes it dips down again.) Im even looking forward to old age- like a 2nd childhood, it will be permission to be wacky and loud. But I have not had a 9 to 5 life either. (My choice..)
I don't think there's a right age for coming out and being true to yourself. It's like they say, better late than never! I'm in my 20's and have only started considering coming out to a few close friends, but haven't done it yet. Hopefully I can be where you are when I'm 28 - it will definitely be an improvement! Congrats
You are not too old to be figuring this out. Embrace it, it's an wonderful journey, even though it may not seem like it at times. confuseduser99. The best years are still to come and you get to enjoy them being and knowing who you are. I realized 16 years later than you, and I wish I could go back in time and live my life being the true me, but it's not possible. Leave the past where it belongs, and think of this as your new beginning with many wonderful adventures ahead of you
Hello 28 definitely isn't too old!! That's great that you accepted your sexuality and I'm proud of you. You still have a very long life to live Congratulations on starting to come out!! I'm proud of you for that too Remember that you don't have to come out now and you still have a long time. Come out whenever you feel ready. Remember to love who you are and be yourself unapologetically. Fuck the haters. (*hug*)
Hello dorkyblueyes, and a warm welcome to ec! You are coming out to others at 28...well I, having felt attracted to guys as well as girls in my teens, then suppressed it (the same-sex attraction) through my adult life - essentially, I hid it even from myself - right up until this year, until the age of 45 no less, when I finally 'allowed' myself to dwell on and feel it (my attraction to guys) once more. So, I don't think you are 'too old' to be figuring it all out. But even in my case, if I had realized it earlier, I would probably not have had my two dear kids whom I love as much as my own life...I think our lives unfold as they do for a reason, we do not always know why at the time; so however it is you have come to where you are now, well rejoice in that you are beginning to more fully accept yourself, and to be more open about it, that's a wonderful thing! Enjoy the ever-unfolding journey Damien
