:icon_redfSo uh... This is my first ever post and i found this website mainly because I really need advice. Get comfy this may be a long story Ok im probably on the younger side of this community but I'm 90% sure I'm gay(the other 10% i may be BI). I am attracted to this guy, lets call him joe. I was recently at a party sleepover with joe with a few other people. There were like 3 places to sleep so joe and i ended up sleeping in this hospital bed in the basement with other people (his dad tore his acl or something before thats why theres a hospital bed.) joe and i slept together and i was content and joe seemed fine. I think he's straight but maybe not. We were the only 2 guys sleeping together but no one rly questioned it. So basically, its summer vacation, and i don't have any of joes info like his number or anything, i might just DM him something on Instagram but i feel like it should be... "Live"so my question is basically, how should i tell him I'm gay, and maybe tell him I'm attracted him if i have enough balls to do so. Any suggestions appreciated. Ps: sorry if i posted this in the wrong place, once again, I'm new here. Pps: i don't see joe much out of school or just us so... Thats why this is difficult for me.
I think everyone hopes to tell someone they are gay in person, if said person means a lot to them. But, if you feel it is safer or easier for you to just write him a text or through instagram, then by all means take the chance to use that. Now, depending on how long you both know each other. How close is your friendship, you might want to reconsider telling him you like him or not. I think in general, the best way around this is to test his reaction to gay topics. Does he react badly if you mention gay relationships, is he fine and supportive. You might want to check on those things, if you still haven't since it might give you an idea as to how he might react if you tell him you are gay and that you like him. Preferably I would advice you to hold on to telling him your feelings. Tell him first about your sexuality, let him wrap his head around that fact before telling him, because people sometimes might react wrongly if they are suddenly bombarded with this sort of things. All in all, you are the judge and only you can decide if by coming out to him will have a negative effect or not. Good luck! And also, Welcome to EC! If you ever need someone to talk to, or ask an advice to, feel free to add me and write me a message on my wall.
There's this saying with my friends "gay until proven straight" DOOO NOT take it seriously. the little saying is exactly there to remind all of us that just because someone may be gay it should not get our hopes up. Personally when I was still figuring out if I was gay every single person i liked seemed like they might have been gay. Im not saying Joe isn't gay but you should be careful telling him you like him. Telling people your gay is one thing but telling them you like them is another (gay or not). And especially since you guys 'slept' together he may feel betrayed if he takes it the wrong way. BUT its summer and ur not likely to see him outside of camp so if it goes downhill..... that being said plz do be careful whatever you end up doing.
You don't have to come out to him now. Come out to him whenever you feel ready and you can come out to him how ever you want to However, I'm not sure about telling him you're attracted to him. Unfortunately, a lot of guys don't react good to that. If you trust him and think he won't react in a bad way, maybe you could tell him. You can do it remember to love yourself and don't care what other think. Fuck haters (*hug*)
You should come out when you feel ready to tell him...I would say come out to him first (if hes the kind of person who isnt homophobic) also hopefully he wont freak out over the bed incident if he is straight.....anyways come out to him first and see how he reacts....sometime later but not anytime soon, if you still have feelings for him then maybe tell him....but idk about telling him all out once as you don't really know how he may take it
Also, if he ends up being homophobic to you, fuck him. You wouldn't need him and he wouldn't be your friend.
I don't think you should tell him that you like him, wait on that. However, I think that you should tell him that you're gay when you feel comfortable. If I were you, I'd invite him to lunch, go get coffee, something, and tell him. He'll appreciate that you wanted to confide in him very important information.
