This last week has been a mess; there’s so much in my mind right now. First of all, I’m practically still on the closet (some people know but they are gay too… apart from two friends of mine) and I feel very ready to come out. Problem is, I don’t know how to or to whom. I’ve promised myself that anytime during September I’ll tell a couple of people (deadlines work for me). Anyway, although this fills me up with stress, this isn’t a real problem for me right now. There is some stuff going on, like family problems and stress at school and work, and it just makes the situation worse. Next, I have this crush… it’s something stupid, but still it feels like a big thing. The thing is, I’ve never been good with guys. And this guy’s personality is totally the opposite of mine (he’s very outspoken and haves an “aggressive” personality, while I’m not). Anyway, to make things short, I like him a lot… and the rest of the story is the same as always. So, I feel like I can’t do anything right now… I can’t come out even though I feel so ready, I can’t be helpful to the people who love me, there is no peace on my mind right now because there’s so much stuff to do, and I can’t even tell some guy what I think about him. I would like TO BE ABLE to do stuff… Anyway, I know I’m not being clear with what I write here, so sorry for my unorganized thoughts. I’m feeling a little depressed and I can’t sleep well. But writing it down makes me feel better.
I feel the same way. I set a deadline to come out before the end of the summer. But as the end neared I felt less and less assured. I had posted a thread and had gotten a lot of help. I finally figured that it just wasn't my time yet. Everyone has there time, its hard to figure out that time but, when it comes you'll have that gut feeling that its time. Don't push yourself these things need time. Hope that helps! EDIT: Here's the post link "http://emptyclosets.com/forum/showthread.php?t=14137"
Hi there! I am glad that writing it all out made you feel better. You have quite a few things happening at the same time which are overwhelming you right now. Try to take it one step at a time. Try to deal with one thing at a time. Try to take control of the things that you can control at the moment. When it comes to coming out, take your time. There is no rush. Trying to come out to others can cause a lot of stress, and in some cases it can interfere with other things in our life. If you place a 'deadline' on your coming out, and if it does not happen for whatever reason, you will only find yourself in a lot more stress and feel even more disappointed. Take it slow and take your time. From your post it seems that you are already out to a couple of people, which is great. Coming out to trusting and accepting/supportive friends first is a good way to start the coming out process as it will allow you to become more comfortable with yourself and you will be able to start building a support network. Is there a GSA or a LGBT club at your school that you could join? I think if you have someone to talk to who has gone through similar experiences will help you a bit as well. About the crush you can try to talk to him, try to get to know him and try to be friends with him first. If you feel that there is something more to it, then perhaps you can pursue it further. If it does not develop into something, and if you find that it just would not work out, at least you might have a friend. Alternatively, you can try to move on as best as you can, and let it be. Try to get your mind to concentrate on other things. If you experience a lot of stress at school and work, maybe try to concentrate on those two first and try to find a way to reduce the stress. Sometimes it is just a matter of balancing school and work better. Try to look at your schedules and see if they are working out for you. Maybe you need to change your work schedule a little bit. I think what would help is if you speak to a counselor about stress management as well as some of the other things that are going on in your life. In some ways all of the things are connected. You are under quite a bit of stress, and I think it would be good if you could find an avenue to relax and take a break from it all. Do you do any sports? Try perhaps to take walks or do something that is just for yourself where you can 'forget' about all the other things that are happening in your life. I know it is easier said than done, but try to tackle one thing at a time and allow yourself the time to take a break once in a while. I hope this helps!
Yeah, I think I've been rushing my mind, and it just confuses me. At least I'm having my work schedule reorganized, so I can be more flexible of time. Right now I just jog for about half an hour a day, because I don't have time for sports (at least during the week). And I think there must be a LGBT group at my university, I mean, there's a group for everything there lol. And yeah, this is all kinda difficult. Anyway, this does helps! so thank you all!
