I don't try to conceal who I am, I would tell anyone who asked, but nobody asks. I've already explained my sexuality to My mom, my father, my step mom, homophobic priest, and my grandparents. I didn't bother using the term pansexual, I felt like I don't have to explain it to them. The thing is my grandma keeps forgetting I'm not straight, and while she acts like she's okay with it every time, the last time I told her she asked a lot of weird questions like "How can anyone possibly be bisexual, aren't you either straight or gay?" or "So why don't you just choose to be with girls?. Before that I assumed she was fine with it and told the rest of the family, but now I'm starting to think not everyone knows. My mom mentioned how I was fine just the way I was in front of my Aunt and Uncle, so they know too. My mom has advised me against telling one aunt right now, not because she wouldn't accept me, but because she would worry a lot about if people where treating me differently etc… Only my mom and my LGBTQ group know I'm non binary though. Honestly I don't see the point in telling anyone else before it becomes relevant, because they just wouldn't get it. Based on my grandmas last response I doubt she would understand trans, let alone this. I don't like being called a he, it grates against my ears, but I don't mind it a horrible amount. I feel like no pronouns are adequate anyways. I use they/them/there, but it implies gender neutrality to me. I'm not agender, I'm more androgynous. I dress in gender neutral clothes most of the time, and if I don't accessorize or anything I would just look male to them. Honestly I don't see the point in coming out about my gender until it becomes relevant or necessary. What do you think I should do?
It sounds to me like you want to come out to more people as non binary or else you wouldn't be wondering about this. (I could be wrong.) I totally relate to wanting to tell people but thinking they wouldn't understand. I'd say you should just think about what it is you want to get out of telling them (eg. if you want them to change pronouns, or even if you just want them to understand you better) and decide if you think that's worth the effort of trying to get them to understand. Hope that helped somewhat.
With your grandma, her confusion and incomprehension surrounding bisexuality/pansexuality is pretty common among straight people (and a lot of gay people too). I think it's one of those things that you can't understand completely unless you've experienced it yourself. It often divides those who can accept things that they don't understand and those who can't. It sounds like she's generally accepting and she's doing the best she can to get her head around it, so unless she starts getting mean spirited about it - I'd be inclined to accept her back. I can't really comment on non-binary. You would know what's best in your situation. I guess eventually you'll get to a point where you want to express it more "loudly", at which time your image and body language will probably come out for you. Showing my igorance here probably.. sorry.. Peace! (*hug*)
Thanks. I suppose if I really think about why I want to come out, it's mostly because I feel like I'll have to some day anyways. I'm a terrible liar.
