... I just don't want to tell them. You know what I mean? I want it to be common knowledge, I just don't wanna have to go through the whole thing of being like 'Oh by the way, I'm a lesbian.' and having to deal with their reactions, whatever they are. I just wish it wasn't assumed that everyone is straight till proven otherwise. Anyone else feel like that?
haha i felt the same way at one point but i didn't really think it was necessary. if you really want people to know by first appearance, a rainbow bracelet wouldn't be a bad idea. i also wished the same thing =P as encouraging as that idea sounds, you would have to consider the safety around your area and yourself. you would still have to go through the process of coming out anyways because not a lot of people are that bright, let alone get the idea. they can come from different cultures that don't have the same ideals as the USA or the UK. we hate it as much as everyone else, but i'd say it's somewhat important to get adjusted to the idea of "coming out". dealing with reactions, thoughts and different morals from other people is how we learn from other individuals and ourselves. it teaches us what we can or cannot avoid.
Sure. I guess. I don't really care either way. My 'coming out' to the school will probably be something like, "Oh, hey, he's pretty cute." It's too bad they'll still think I'm straight, no matter what I do.
When you get a girlfriend - introducing her to people, holding her hand in public etc.. should do that for you
I feel ya. I really can't stand people assuming things about my gender and sexuality and I, too, wish people stopped thinking everyone is straight and cis and are surprised to find out otherwise.... So I decided to not come out. Instead I would be out. The difference is this: I don't generally go and say "I'm gay/queer/whathaveyou" to anyone ever. I just talk about my life and my preferences and act normally. Straight people indicate that they are straight a hundred times a day, by checking out people of their preferred gender, talking about their partners, celebrities, future plans, news etc. I promise, if you talk to a bunch of straight people just normally, they will let you know that they are straight by how they talk about themselves and their lives--without ever having to say that they are straight. Just do that, only not straight. Talk about your life normally. Don't hide anything, don't censor yourself, don't bother explaining yourself. Do what straight people do. BE out instead of coming out. Some people will catch on and never say a word to you about it, but they'll know and indicate that they know by how they talk to you and about you. Some people will catch on and ask you right out if you're gay, just say yes and move on. Oftentimes, word will spread a little, like "did you know that so-and-so is gay? I totally didn't know that..." but it's unlikely you'll know about this until it seems like everyone already knows about you. And then, everyone will. And there's no awkward coming out to new people, you'll just be doing the same thing you've always been doing--being yourself, completely.
YES!!! I so do know what you're talking about. Think we all do, really. There's this gay themed film called 'Get Real' and at one point, the main gay guy tries to get an anonymous letter printed out on the school magazine. It goes like this: "Someone once wrote that one's real life is so often the life that one does not lead. I wish I could lead my real life. I am writing this article because I am angry and because I want to impress on all of you parents that your assumption that your children are heterossexual may be destroying their lives." So accurate :dry:
Completely understand!! Everyone assumes I'm straight, and it's frustrating. I don't want to have to tell everyone, but apparently, coming out is a never ending process. Every time we meet someone new, unless it's in an environment that's assumed you're gay, you will have to tell them. So, I accepted I will have to get used to it and it's now a part of my life.
