Is social anxiety after partially coming out to parents and parents possible? It's been about 3 weeks since I started coming out and now I am starting to feel disconnected with people. I was hanging with some friends yesterday who know I'm gay but I just felt disconnected even though they are fully accepting and one of them is bisexual. I want to be comfortable with my sexual orientation and myself. Today in class I felt that I face my fear and talk to the girl who sits behind me. I was scared but having the conversation about math was rewarding and felt so good in the end. A good friend of mine told me a couple days ago as I came out to him, 'I am good because anyone can tell me a secret and I will hold on to it but my weakness is that when I have internal problems I don't speak for myself and hold on to them, burdening myself.' I feel that I don't know how to speak my mind. I am too concerned with my image and my voice. I don't have a feminist voice or anything but I just feel soft spoken. How can I overcome my fears so I can finally come out to my older brother and be happy with my sexual orientation. I really want to enjoy a Hollywood gay club before the end of summer but I need to gain my confidence and be happy/comfortable with myself. Thanks in advance.
I have not come out or started to yet. So this is from an outside perspective. But considering they are all accepting of you, have you considered talking to your friends about this? Maybe you just need a little reassurance... Also, is there any chance you were not ready to come out yet? I only ask because I always thought you should be comfortable with your sexuality and yourself before coming out. I think maybe someone with more, hell atleast some experience should answer, because I would hate to give you bad advice...
The problem was that when I came to terms that my attention is drawn to males that I felt I had to come out right away. I was having anxiety attacks and just had to come out to a few people including my parents. Maybe I should have told them that I was questioning or bi but I would rather tell the truth than a lie. Veteran experience would be nice.
Well, I am sure someone will be on shortly who is more experienced, but if you want something to reflect on I have a small suggestion. Get away from it all. I dont know what that would mean for you. For me I would get in my truck, drive to either Galveston or Padre Island, and get a hotel room. If you cant do that you could find an escape nearby where you wont be bothered. Sit in a beautiful place and bring a pad of paper and a pen or pencil. Write your thoughts down. Everything that is bothering you. not just what is bothering you but why it bothers you, what causes it, how could you change it, does it really need to change, etc. I find that when I start feeling like I am going through a crisis dealing with emotions this is what helps me. Something about putting it on paper, its like confessing it and admitting it is true. Once you admit that, you can start trying to work towards a solution. But to me it sounds like you just feel poorly, but dont fully understand why. That happens to me alot, albeit about different emotions than your goin through. I have always had a problem with understanding emotions (mine and others) and this is what my therapist who used to treat me got me to do when I didnt understand emotions of my own.
