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How to come out to my friend?

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by goodolmoon, Jul 12, 2014.

  1. goodolmoon

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    I met one of my closest friends online about three years ago. She lives a few hours from me, but we're the same age and have the same interests and talk usually a few times a day.

    I want to come out to her, but I don't know how. It feels weird telling her over Facebook, but that's really my only option. I hinted to her a while back (two years ago, maybe?) by telling her I liked a girl in my grade, but I never fully came out to her or anything. Should I just make it a casual thing? I don't want it to be some big dramatic thing, especially because I know she'll be fine with it, but I feel like she should know. Should I tell her? I keep going back and forth between how, and should I, and maybe not, and yes, etc. etc. etc. Blech.

    So....anyone have any thoughts? haha.
     
  2. Mirko

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    Hi there! It's quite possible that seeing and making your coming out something more casual, would make it easier on you. Try to decide on a method with which you feel most comfortable with. In some ways, trying to think about the 'how to' can create some anxiety as well.

    With which method would you feel most comfortable? Try writing out all the options on different pieces of paper, and then pick the one that you feel comfortable with. When you pick the option don't think too much about it. Go with your instincts. Listen to it. :slight_smile:

    Before you send a message or speak with her, try to remind yourself of the fact that you know that it will go well, and that she will be supportive. Try to say out loud to yourself, 'I want to come out to [Name].' If everything feels right, try going for it.
     
  3. Bolt35

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    did she get the hint before that time? if she did, i think it might be a chance to know that she could be a bit accepting, after known each other for a while. i'd say do it in person or at least a on call phone conversation. it's better to speak it about it. typing to each other might cause some confusion. whatever that you feel best with her, i'd say go with it. make sure you're ready and prepared for any questions
     
  4. goodolmoon

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    Thanks, Mirko! That helps a lot :slight_smile: I really appreciate it!

    Bolt - I think she got it, but I'm not sure. I haven't really mentioned anything past that, so it's possible that she forgot about it or didn't really give it a second thought. Quite honestly, I've avoided talking about it all together, so even if she did know what I was saying, there's a good chance she might have a feeling but not know.