...I don't know if she will accept me. It's not that she is homophobic or overly religious or anything, but my brother is gay, and sometimes my mom makes generalizations about queer people that bother me. I can't say anything since I'm not out, but it's hard to hear her say those things and they affect me in a personal way. I know that if I came out, she wouldn't want to tell anyone, especially my father who is not so accepting of my brother. I'm leaving to go back to college in three weeks, and I kind of want to tell her before I go. I feel like I should be truthful with her, but I'm honestly afraid that she will either try and belittle/invalidate my sexuality, or she will be really upset with me and not accept my sexual orientation. What should I do? :icon_sad:
Hello!! I'm sorry your parents aren't accepting of gay people. Remember that you don't have to come out to your mom now. Come out to her whenever you feel ready to do it. I think it would be great to tell her you're gay right before you leave to college. That way, you don't have to worry about being disowned or kicked out of the house. Another good idea in my opinion would be to tell her while you're at college (e.g. write a letter, send an email, do it over phone, etc.) That way you also won't worry about being disowned. If your mom reacts in a bad way, don't listen to her and don't care what she thinks or says. If she doesn't accept you and love you then she doesn't matter to you. Same thing goes for everyone else. Remember to love and embrace who you are. Good luck coming out to your mom!! I know you can do it!! (*hug*)
Well, I'm not worried that she will disown me or anything, I'm just worried that she will be… I guess disappointed with me… in a way. :/
I know that when I came out to my mom, I was really worried about how she would react too. I thought she would be so disappointed in me and I felt like she wouldn't understand. However, once I came out to her she acted the same as always and just told me it was okay. I know that it's really tough, and from what you wrote it doesn't sound like your mom will be the most accepting person to come out to, but you should always hope for the best. People may surprise you with their reactions. That being said, please remember to come out when you feel that it's 100% safe, and when you feel 100% ready. When you reach that point, don't be afraid of what anybody else says. Your happiness should come first.
Well your mom shouldn't be disappointed. If your mom is, then don't care what she says or thinks about your sexuality. Her opinion wouldn't matter because she'd be wrong. Also, remember to come out whenever you are completely ready
If I were you, I would come out when you are financial and legally independent (maybe you are now, maybe not). If you were, then they could do nothing in terms of "disowning" you. You would already have your own place, car, internet, food, water, electricity, gas, etc. So that's when I would come out if I were you, just so you have a safe haven to go to if the worst should happen.
i think a lot of parents have a misconception about queer people in general because it's what they see in the media and in the streets, not from personal experience. it sounds like it might've hit a little close to home when she found out about your brother and making the assumption off of him. she might be disappointed but there's no harm in knowing the truth. she might even put the blame on your brother but in the end, it's just how you are. we can't always live up to our parent's expectations, and that's a fact.
