Hi everyone! I'm currently on holiday, away from home, and I haven't seen my best friend in about 2 weeks and I haven't seen the rest of my class (I'm at high school) in about 5 weeks. So I took the time to reflect on my sexuality, thinking I'm probably gay because I have a crush on my best friend (let's call him B). I'm now certain I have gay feelings so I thought I would come out to B the next time I see him, in about 2 weeks. I'll stay at home for 1 week and we'll have a party for Swiss national day (1st of August). Then I'll be away again for like 3 weeks (at the sea :icon_bigg). The start of the new school year (Senior year in my case) is around the end of August and I thought that it would give time for B to reflect on it and accept it before we see us again. He would be the first person to know. Another factor is I really want to get out of that closet and have my friends know I'm gay, so I don't have to wait 1.5 more month to get that problem (i.e. being in the closet) off my back. Right now it's bugging me that nobody knows and I can't relax properly (cause that's what holiday is about right). I would be relieved and I could enjoy the rest of my holiday. So is it a good idea to tell him and then take off for 3 weeks or should I tell everyone at the same time and be there with them? Have you had any similar experiences, like you don't know when to come out? Oh btw, I forgot to say he'll probably accept it without any problem (at least I hope) so I'm not concerned too much that he'll hate me. Anyway, thanks for reading my story and I'm looking forward to reading your advices!
The thing with telling people and asking us id the time is right is that its really something nobody but you can really determine. If it feels like the right time to tell "B" then do so. But keep in mind, he may or may not have questions. So dumping it on him and running on holiday might leave him with more questions than answers. Are you available to converse with him while gone (email/txt)? If so then you can be there if he wants to chat about it. It is often hard to gauge how some people will react. Telling him and then having him not answer might make you more tense than simply leaving it until after holiday and you returning to school. He might not need time to reflect, or that time of reflection might make him uneasy. It is simply impossible for any of us to say. How do you think he will take it? Also, I suggest not telling him you have a crush on him unless you feel that the feelings might be mutual. It can upset the balance with some friends.. But again, this is something only you will know. There might be time for it later. Be brave..... but keep in mind that nobody can tell you what to do, but you.
If you are sure he will take it well, tell him and be positive about it. It will be a weight off your mind, but do keep the communication channels open. Try to think about any questions he may ask in advance, so you can be prepared with your answers. It's always better if you are able to give people full and complete answers when they ask questions. For example, how will you respond if he asks if you have feelings for him? It's a question he may ask. Good luck!
I don't think he'll have any problem with it, he's a really tolerant person. Or at least he doesn't openly criticise gay people. And we can talk about it on Skype any time, so I'm not completely "away" for 3 weeks. The only thing I really fear is, you both pointed it out, that if he asks if I have feelings for him, I'll have to lie, which is something I'm not particularly good at. Also I think he won't believe me if I lie, because I'm like always with him, wherever he goes I go, he will be the first person I tell so that makes him kind of special too, that sort of things. He's not dumb and maybe he already suspect it. But I'll try to be convincing if he asks! Of course, I'd like him to answer something like "Me too, wanna make out?", but it's not going to happen. There's always hope! Anyway, thanks a lot for your replies, I think you are right I'm the only one who knows if I'm ready to tell him. I think I'll decide when I'm in front of him; that's when I'll know if I'm ready or not.
