Where to start? For a good while now I've come to just about the conclusion that I am transgender. Yay! Great, now you have an idea of what's going on. However, me knowing is great, others knowing is less great. For starters my family are Christians, coming out to them would (in my head) turn into some sort of What is wrong with you? God made you the way you are why are you trying to change that? sort of thing. My mom claims that we (my sister and I) can tell her anything but I question that a lot. Whenever I tell her anything the next time she's on the phone with one of her friends from church they hear all about it. So me telling her that I'm transgender would result in half the community knowing? Great, just super. My dad is of an older generation who doesn't accept this sort of thing very well. He's racist, and probably homophobic as well judging from some reactions he's had to seeing some people in public. My sister is two years younger then I am; I feel I can tell her things but I also know that sooner or later she will slip up and end up telling my mom (this has happened before with something else). Where I live we don't have many, if any, people who I can talk to. It's a very small community with an almost combined mind set of what is right and what is wrong. Overall I'm at a loss as to what to do.
Is it possible for you to stay in the closet for now? I understand it may be difficult, but sometimes, the consequences aren't worth it. I'm out, but nothing's really different. People still call me by my female name and pronouns and they still see me as a girl, but online, I can be who I want. Maybe this will help you, too? From now on, if you don't already, introduce yourself as the gender you want. Find a name you like. Then, people will start knowing that as you, not your birth gender. I don't know about you, but whenever someone calls me by male pronouns, I feel happier. It may be the same as you, and it helps you cope with not being able to come out at this moment, or at least not being able to transition.
Just tell someone that you know well and trust with personal stuff. That should help you get out some stress about it and you know that they will keep it private between you two.
I would suggest going to a therapist. They have to, by law, not reveal personal information like that. So you know that they won't say a thing. Also, he/she can help discover ways to make yourself feel better about your sexuality and how you can come out to people when you feel that the time is right.
Thanks all, I think for now my best bet is too stay in the closet as Nychthemeron suggested. The internet will be my friend.
