First of all hi! I've been lurking for a while now and some stupid feelings are causing me to seek my own advice. Also I know females with short hair being gay is a stupid stereotype, so I hope I'm not being a bad lesbian by asking this but I'm desperate. I've been toying with the idea for a while now, I honestly think short hair would be badass and I want to see if i can pull if off. But this weekend I spent a lot of time with a group of friends and even though it was super fun and everything, I was so mad at myself because of how frustratingly in the closet I am. Only a handful of my closest friends know I'm a lesbian, I texted two of my friends from home when I was at college, told my one friend after he told me he was gay, and had to get embarrassingly drunk to tell my other two friends (do not recommend). Needless to say, I'm seriously bad at this whole coming out thing. I just don't know how to bring it up without making the conversation all about me and the fact that I'm into girls. I don't want it to be a big deal and have my homosexuality define me in the eyes of people, especially my friends. Since they have assumed I'm straight and I have done nothing to prevent that, it will be at least somewhat of a shock (I'm sure they have picked up on something though haha) and I just don't know how to bring up the subject in a casual way after seeming straight for so long. Thats why I think cutting my hair would be a great answer, I feel like it would at least start the conversation or suspicions of my friends/family (as well as other girls, like yes please). If people were to ask me if I was a lesbian I would have no problem saying yes, or if people are like why would you do people are going to think you're a lesbian blah blah I can be like umm thats the point or something else that is super casual. Basically I would want my hair to do what I'm to socially awkward to do myself :bang: I have been seriously considering it for a while now, and I'd say that 50% of me would want it so people realize that I exhale rainbows, and the other 50% wants it because I think it would be really cool/hip/whatever and maybe look rather good on me (in addition to all of the practical benefits of short hair). Also I've had the same boring hair forever and I'm young and in college so if there was ever a time to be adventurous I feel like its now lol. Another part of me is terrified it could look terrible but I really hate how I'm stuck like halfway out of the closet.
Well if you think that would help, but there is also lots of straight women with short hair so i dont know if it would help. I Can however recomemded getting you hair cut short. It will look awesome, it feels awesome, and you become more awesome. Haha. I actually found out i was gay after cutting My hair short and i was kinda like "well damn, now everyone will think that was My reason". But honestly noone has believed i am gay because of My short hair. Actually, at one point i thought i would stop being gay if i let My hair grow out... I think i was kinda desperate at that time. Do whatever you feel like doing though, i personally dont think you should do it if you only want to do it so it is easier to come out. You should do it if you actually want to have short hair and you will be happy with it, it takes a lot of time to grow it out again
If you think so, then go ahead, be my guest. The question that I have is, don't you think that your parents/friends already know more than you think? I mean, to be on the err of caution, they probably wouldn't ever bring it up or say it to your face (because there's always the possibility that you're not, right?). Well, I think your parents/friends already have a little bit of suspicion and that cutting your hair will make that suspicion grow even more. Also, short hair rules! Less to deal with . So, go for it
The title of the thread made me laugh, just because of how blunt it was. That being said it's not the worst idea; it's basically what i did. I had wanted to cut my hair for a long time, and as soon as I came out to myself I chopped it and haven't looked back. People definitely assume you're incredibly hip and cool and independent but straight, so it won't necessarily make people question your sexuality. For me everyone just assumes I'm a hipster, even though that's so not true. I like couldn't be less cool, but I have short hair and wear unisex clothing so that = hipster in most peoples' book.
I'm a big fan of hair cutting, always worth it to try short hair. It always looks way better than expected and it's so fun and easy. As for coming out difficulties, I feel ya. My advice is this. If you want to avoid as much awkward "I have something to tell you and it's important..." conversations, just do what I did when I wanted to come out: Pretend like everyone already knows (some people already do). Give the ok for your friends to casually mention it. Stop curtailing your speech to make it seem like you're not into girls. I know you do it, we all do when we're closeted. Listen to your straight friends talk sometime and count how many times they casually indicate their straightness. They do it constantly, because it's part of their life and they're 'out' in a sense. They'll talk about people they think are attractive, they'll talk about their partners, blah blah blah straightness all the time. Just do that, only gayer! Don't stop yourself from saying what comes normally to you about how you feel and who you think about and what your future holds. For example, I casually (almost accidentally even!) came out to my grandmother because she was talking about when I get married someday and I said "well, not until it's legal..." and it went on from there. Some people will be like "you're gay?" and you'll just have to be like "yup" and most of the time that's the end of that conversation. Other people will pick it up silently and never say a word, but adjust the way they think of you (in a good way) to reflect your preferences (like, instead of saying have you met any cute guys lately, they'll say girls, etc...) Maybe try that? But definitely cut your hair. You're dead on in thinking this is the best possible time to try it. And even if you hate it (I don't think you will) you can always find a cute hat until it grows back. And faster than it seems when it's long!
I have long wanted to cut my own hair short but don't have the guts. If you want to, then by all means go for it. If you think now isn't the time and that it might give you more trouble than it's worth, waiting might be a better idea. My immediate advice, however, is to take a shot!
