self acceptance, coming out to yourself

After I came out to myself and began accepting it, I did have the urge to connect more with others, however, it wasn't until I came out to family and friends that I began to connect more with others. I have also become much less emotionally distant, and I think this is because others can accept me for who I am, which was impossible before because I did not acknowledge who I am.

 

I started working on coming out at about 19 or so. I didn't come out to my parents until I was 22, but I had a big group of friends that knew.

It's a slow process. For me the relief came when I told my folks. Telling my friends was great too, but wasn't as big of a weight off my shoulder as my parents were.

I had never denied it, but I had never said it out loud to myself. Once I did that, it was easier to say it to others, but it takes time. I suspect some people come out with a blaze of glory, I was more of the slow and steady...

 

I was in pretty much the same situation as you. My environment was in no way anti-gay, but I was still unwilling to accept myself. I'm only out to a few people, but telling those people really helped me come to terms with myself, made it feel more real because other people knew it too.

 

I kinda woke up one morning before I went to my current girlfriend's house and I was like "Damn It. I can't believe I never realized it before! You like *****!" Just one morning and now we're together.

 

Super jealy!


I came out to myself at 24 after being in a permissive environment. At first I was super duper anxious for like a year all the time: going out into public, going to parties, going to family events, everything; but once that faded, things got better and I'm constantly getting more and more comfortable being myself and more confident; apparently sometimes to the point of appearing cocky. I wanna apologize to people sometimes: "I'm sorry, I'm not strutting around cuz I think I'm better than you! I just can't help it! And all these women are beautiful!"

So yeah it sucked for a while but now it's way better. I don't think it'll instantly make you a more social confident outgoing person, but you'll hopefully feel more comfortable with yourself in time.

 

I am pretty much going through the same thing.I waited so long to actually come out to myself that it makes it hard to feel comfortable in my own skin. I am reaching to the LGBT group where i live to help me out, maybe that could be an option for you ?

 

I'm in a very similar situation. I grew up in an environment that is accepting of LGBT, and on some level I have known I was bisexual for years, but its just recently I have begun to accept it. I feel awkward around women that I am attracted to because I don't know the first think about truly expressing my sexuality, but I have been slowly coming out to friends and family over the past year and it has really helped me in my journey. Look to LGBT people in your life for guidance. It can help more than you think.

 

I've only just admitted to myself also - same age, that was harder than coming out to anyone else! I think I just thought that I would always know so kept ignoring the signs until a friend admitted that she had feelings for me and I couldn't lose her so had to admit it to myself really? I've grown up where it was openly accepted but think there is always an undercurrent of jokes and it not really being accepted if I think about it and read between the lines - plus you always have to face the wider world and there's always chance it gets leaked to a less friendly party?

 

I think self-acceptance is the hardest part of his whole thing! I started to realise that I wasn't straight when I was like 14/15 (my friends seemed to realise it before I did!) but it's taken me close to 4 years to accept myself! I'm now about ready (or as close to ready as I'll ever be) to start coming out to those around me, starting with my closest friends. I know that it'll be rough, but I don't think that it'll be half as hard as it was to accept myself....

 

I think it often just comes with time. You've taken the first massive step of admitting to yourself that you're gay, but it just takes some people a while to get used to the idea and to work out how it fits with their existing perception of themselves.

It's easy to think that our feelings about something wont ever change. At the time, they can feel very permanent - for instance, the idea that we might not ever fully accept ourselves. It's a really horrible and scary feeling, to wonder whether you're ever going to be happy with who you are.

I once thought that I would never accept myself. Then I thought that I would never come out to anyone. Then I thought that I would never come out to my family. Then I thought I would never be openly 'out' on social media. Then I thought that I would never go to Pride. Then I thought that I would never go to a gay bar or club. Then I thought that I would never take a girl on a date.

And, you know, despite starting off in a position where I couldn't even admit to myself that I was gay, I've gradually done all those things and proved to myself that it really does get better. The more time passes, the more I adjust.

Don't beat yourself up about not fully accepting it yet. It's perfectly okay and normal.

I think it probably helps to be in contact with the LGBT community so that you don't feel as though you're totally alone out there...whether that be through this site, other websites, friends that you know or through a local organized meetup group (as per Beninthesky's suggestion). I'm very new here myself but from what I've seen there appear to be a lot of very friendly and supportive people around who will help you along the way.

 

It was a long process for me.
It is only in the past few weeks at age 24 I've truly accepted it.
Already I feel a great weight off my shoulders. I imagine how it will be when I finally say it to everyone. I think it's going to be in the next few days, I feel like I'm going to burst.
I never thought this stage would come, if you are struggling to make sense of your sexuality in your head or get rid of denial, the moment will come.
All of this contributed to making me depressed. I think coming out will improve my self confidence and get rid of that pent up emotion. Really connecting with others only happens when you are authentic

 

This gives me great hope. At the moment, I have accepted the fact that I am gay but I haven't yet taken any steps to tell people, or even think about dating men.

It's going to be a slow process because I'm notoriously resistant to change, and self-acceptance isn't really happening yet...

 

Coming out to oneself is primarily about letting go of the things that have been weighing you down, sometimes for years. Sometimes it's a kind of epiphany, a sudden realization where everything that you were until that very moment was waiting to click into place, like some giant lock mechanism, whirring and spinning until the big closet door opens with a great big SWOOSH!.

Suddenly, the oppressive weight of expectations, both societal and parental; the blinders of illusion and the emotional constraints just all fall away. What has been experienced, for many, myself included, is nothing less than a quiet joy...

Of course you become more open, of course people actually notice that you've changed somehow, and for the better. That joy I speak about has a way of opening your heart to desire and connection!

 

I have just come to terms with being bisexual. To me, it doesn't seem necessary to tell anyone about it unless I get a boyfriend. That is something that my family and friends deserve to know, but there is so much up in the air with being bi...I don't want to cause any drama when I don't know which direction I will take.