I have been questioning and denying my sexuality for about 2 years now and I think I have finally come to terms with it. I feel comfortable with it. But the thought of telling my parents and the rest of my family seems like my worst nightmare. My family never really gets angry they just show their disappointment in you. I don't want my family to see me as a mistake. I don't think I'm a mistake. I also thought of all the separation it would cause in my family too because of the way people in my family view the issue in so many different ways. I don't want to ruin my family. I'll leave before I ruin what they have, I love them, and I don't want them (Especially my father) to think of me as a disappointment. I'm not going to change, I'm not going to be really flamboyant and girly (no offense to anyone by any means I am a little feminine I love the outdoors and martial arts and that will never change. Maybe I'll never come out I don't know I'm scared of the thought, I came here with the thought that I could connect to people like me with the same thoughts and philosophies. Thanks in advance
The truth is that it is up to you to decide when and if to tell them. Your profile says you are "sexually fluid" so if you end up dating a woman, would you have to tell them? For most of us that have come out, we've felt like you at one point or another. It is very typical to worry what our parents and family will think about us. Some families are accepting, some mildly tolerant and some are never going to be accepting. Only way you'll know is to find out. Most of the time the suggestion is to feel them out by asking indirect questions. You see a news article on TV about a gay event or person and you ask casually about it, etc. This usually gives you a basis to know where their heads are with regards to gay people. As far as being gay, LOL, you don't have to be flamboyant at all. I like camping, working on cars and building stuff. Pretty atypical gay traits for most of my gay friends. So you are who you are. Being out won't change that, it simple adds a label and clears the air for you to be yourself.
haha, i understand definitely. i felt the same way when i was coming to terms with myself. i guess for starters, it's always good to have a friend or two that will support you no matter what you prefer. my entire family is religious, so for me to be gay, it's quite a shock for them. i've kinda seen the way they distance my cousin (since he's also gay) but he doesn't care as much. by the end of the day, the people who are your family, are the ones who stood by your side throughout your life. when i told my folks, they were quite disappointed too, but they also realized that they can't hold me down forever. that i have to live my own life. you really don't have to follow the stereotypes just to be a gay man. i'm just a stagehand, heavy metal loving, musician, peaceful guy who just happens to be non religious. i can try adding martial arts as well but i don't think i practice it enough to consider myself that way. i don't like "brand" clothes or shopping haha. i could list a lot more that breaks down the walls, but i'm definitely sure there's more guys like myself out there who don't fit that mold very well. by the end of the day, you're you. don't stick to a label.
Telling friends can be really helpful. Coming out little by little can be a very rewarding experience. I once came out in front of an entire English class.
