The longer your in the closet the harder it gets ?

For me it got worse and worse. It became a very difficult thing to deal with. I waited until I was 27 to come out, and while it was a difficult process I am so glad I did. The burden that is lifted is so great.

If there are people out there that will not accept you it's going to hurt. However look at it this way, the quicker you do it, the sooner you will heal from that emotional pain and be free to be yourself.

I wish I would have came out much earlier, but I didn't. No sense on dwelling on it.

Good luck on whatever you decided to do! We will all be here to support you no matter what.

 

My friend was on the verge of exploding and he was only 13, he had to come out to me just so he could handle it. Usually it helps to come out as soon as you're ready. I personally never had this problem.

 

Trust me I'd tell family soon I still have yet to tell mine. It's getting to me pretty quickly, I have only truly thought abt this in the past say... month. Yeah... I'd tell family soon.

 

Yeah...I'm 27 and I'm having a really hard time with this right now. The longer you wait to come out the more difficult it is to force yourself to do it.

 

I feel EXACTLY the same way! I'm not out to my parents and I think about coming out to them everyday but I am so scared of their reaction! And also it's hard being closeted because I can't date anyone so that makes life very lonely! For me everyday that goes by it gets more unbearable to live in the closet

 

Yes, it is harder the older you get! I am 28 and I am full of regret that I did not come out as a teen or as soon as I knew I was gay.The problem when you are older is that you have already set a fake life for yourself and after coming out you feel a bit lost because you feel like all your close relationship are modified.If you dont loosr friends , you will see some who look at you differently.It would have been much easier to deal with that sort of stuff as a teen where you always have the oportunity to make new friends very fast.

 

I so understand the need to have people know! I'm out to almost everyone, but some don't believe me, and some are still in the dark for practical reasons. But I get so desperate to tell others, to be open, to throw myself into the world as not just SOME of what I am but ALL of what I am - including lesbian.

Hiding it from parents can be particularly difficult. I keep making absolutely pointless attempts to get my mom to believe me, to talk about it with me, to understand how important it is to me that she understand that I feel crushes and losses and desire like any straight person would (she didn't treat me this way when she thought I was heterosexual). And it hurts so badly that she wants to ignore it.

What about friends? Are you afraid to tell friends? I first came out to a very close friend I knew was extremely open-minded.

 

That was a large part of my hesitancy to come out: Everyone just thinks you're straight. Being anything else is practically unthinkable. I hate not being taken seriously as a human being.

 

I'm glad I could help! I don't think my family really looks at me to much differently, I mean I'm sure some things have changed but our relationship has not. If anything it has gotten stronger, now that I am honest with them.

I wish I could say that it was a instant change but it is still a work in progress. I only came out to them last Thanksgiving, before that I was out to very few people. I had a rush of coming out to lots of people in a short time. It was intense, but now that it is over 6 months in the past I am sooooo glad that I did it. I don't regret anything about it. I can tell you though that each day I am happier then the last.

 

---------- Post added 18th Jul 2014 at 03:05 AM ----------

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I hear you! it's a vicous circle, the dating thing- for me i used to think ohh i will come out when i am in a happy relationship with a girl but then how can i be with a girl when no one even knows im into them, and like you say it is very lonely. i really hope the horrible feeling is already at its worse though, every scenario goes through my head too and even after coming out ( which i know i wont come out yet) the thought of family looking at you differently is horrible which i guess will happen after they have only known us one way.


Yah I'm thinking either I will tell my parents when I am in a relationship with a girl or if/when they ask me if I'm gay. And I totally understand when u say 'the thought of family looking at you differently is horrible' that right there is my biggest fear coming out to my parents! Yesterday I had a conversation with my mom about getting this atheist tattoo and the first thing she said was 'but what happens if u meet a nice GUY who is religious?' *sigh* at one point I actually thought maybe they know I'm gay but they just want me to tell them first but I guess I was wrong! :dry:

 

It's getting tough for me all I hear about is when you marry your husband , do you have a boyfriend , have you met any guys . I'm sick of it :tantrum:
but I know I can't come out yet so I have to wait , til I move out but I'm lonely and horny and going insane

 

I felt the exact same when I wasn't out to anyone. Eventually I told my best friend because I just couldn't take it anymore and from that it's become easier to tell people. I think its true when they say the first person is always the hardest mainly because I found it easier after that although i'm still not out to most people or my family. Although I do think you should never come out unless you feel your ready to.

 

Haha cx this is why I had to come out to my family, the day I came out I was talking to my best friend on the phone and my mom asked if it was my girl friend I laughed and I said no, she was like are you sure?, and I said mom yes I am 100% sure, and she ok then haha
So yea that happened during the dinner so it was my last meal in the closet cx

 

Not everything about coming out a bit later is negative. For me the hardest part was accepting it myself, after that I just could stand the idea of being in the closet anymore

I was too scared of the reactions of my religious family and my friends. I just couldn't do it and feel trapped in my own life and started showing clear depression symptoms (A friend of mine pointed it out and though I dismissed it in front of her to avoid questions, i researched it later on and she was right!).

Maybe what worked with me will make you feel better and work for you... Why don't you try slowly getting ready to come out?. I mean, the beginning of the coming out process is realizing that things need to change for you to be happy. You don't need to come out tomorrow, next week or next month, you can take as much time as you need but work towards it, that way you will feel better as you will be working towards building up the courage, realize that yo have control over your life, and every step will bring you closer to being free

 

Hi! i can TOTALLY relate to you as i am still in this similar situation at a age of 28! you are still very young. And honestly its not about coming out at a right age or so. Its about accepting yourself who you are and how you would want your life to be.. how you'd want to live it on your own terms. This is more important to figure out at the earliest.. to take the call. I still dont regret that i am not out to my friends or family. it doesnt feel that they dont know the real me... i have always been myself in front of them ..its just that i never told them about my sexual preferences ..rest all is not fake. So the only regret is.. is wish i could figure out for myself as how would i want to spend my life... 'm i ready to live 'that' life?' i jus with i knew 10 years ago... at this age there is a lot of pressure... Family.. Job.. Friends.. Home.. above all Marriage.

So dont worry about telling others but decide for your own self.

 

That's not my mom but I wish it was , she'll raise hell and force me to date men, she might even go nuts and bring a man in and say stuff like " Fuck my daughter straight , she needs to know how great penis is "

 

:eek:that's horrible!