I'm 24, female. I've been bi-curious since a girl at a gig just came over and kissed me. I've never forgotten it, never forgotten that feeling of excitement and rush. She walked off after saying 'welcome to the club'... which I didn't understand at the time. She was beautiful and well yeah... This was a fair few years ago and I've always had straight relationships were I lose interest pretty quickly, especially sexually. I love the build up of a new relationship but as soon as sex happens I kind of zone out, I don't have any enjoyment in sex. Just feels fumbled, not right and awkward. Not for them. I spent a couple of years being 'sexy'. I hate that word. But I'm okay with myself in that manner and know what men want, its all too predictable. Exception of my current boyfriend, who is into all sorts of taboo situations. I'm angry with him as I type so I won't put light on him at this moment. Anyway this is the first time I've admitted my bi-curiousness. I've stared at beautiful women, flirted unknowingly and caught the eye of other women. I seem to attract lesbians as well, they are always completely surprised when I say "I'm straight" then they give me a pity smile... (I have basically very vey short hair, tattoos and a masculine energy so I've been told) I've always preferred lesbian porn too... *blush much* I actually have respect for women and attraction. I've never acted on it, purely because I wouldn't know how... That is the ONLY reason I haven't. I know what to do with men, I've never even been rejected by any man because I know the game. With women I feel nervous and wouldn't know what to do. I don't know what to do about the current bf, I don't like him, I find him irritating, not sexually attractive, just the past we've had too, he's not a nice person... I don't know what to do and feel depressed and very much like I want to run away from everything and everyone. Thanks in advance even just for reading.
First of all, you shouldn't stay in a relationship that you view as hopeless, regardless of how you define your sexuality. You should always choose to be happy, and never drag along someone as a security blanket. Second, it's totally ok to not be 100% sure on your sexuality. People discover themselves in all different walks of life. I would like to say that all lesbians aren't in the "big, intimidating group," but we're definitely a colorful mix of personalities and looks. You should go for what you want. Be a little reckless sometimes. I know it's easier said than done, but stepping out of your box will only help you learn more about yourself and your sexuality.
