At the moment I'm pretty much stuck in the closet. I'm a 17 year old gay guy and I've been telling myself that I will come out some time soon for the last two years. While I have told a handful of friends, the vast majority of my people still don't know (including all my family). Every time I decide to tell someone close to me, it feels like I'm running up against some invisible barrier that I can't just get through. I've tried setting myself deadlines, and I'm not doing a letter (too impersonal). I'm starting college in September, and I hope to be open about myself. The problem is that, in my preferred university, my dad will be lecturing my course, and will have a pretty good view of my social life. I don't want him to find out I'm gay by accident. That being said, I might have the option to go abroad for college (to a way more liberal corner of the world) and I'm considering taking it so that I can keep my social life to myself. My current family situation is as follows: -Dad is fairly accepting and I've got a really good rapport with him. -Mum is a bit old fashioned. She's one of these Mitt Romney types that went from not being able to afford to go to college to running a business and having a bunch of other investments on the go. As a result she's fairly conservative and occasionally makes jokes about minorities (LGBT people included). If I do come out, she'll be the last person I tell - Older Brother is pretty easy going. He's in uni, and has a few gay friends, so I'm not worried about him. -Younger Brother is t roughly the same as Older Brother. I'm really afraid that I'll never pluck up the courage to come out to my family and just end up cutting them out of my life. Any advice/speculation would be greatly appreciated.
It sounds like you have given it adequate consideration. The truth is, nobody here can tell you when the time is right, only you can make that choice. I did the letter thing, not because it is impersonal, but because like you, I couldn't get the words out. For me, it was the only way I could tell my side of the story in its entirety without interruption. I then left it for my mom to find and the rest is history. FWIW, my parents are Rush Limbaugh dittoheads and despite that are very supportive of me. If I had one bit of advice, tell the family member you feel the closest to first. Once that happens, I think you'll find it is much easier. But each person is a hurdle no matter how many people you have told. It takes lots of years for most of us to casually bring it up in conversation with strangers/co-workers/ acquaintances..
I think I'm in a similar place etcetera. I live with my mom and I don't know how to tell her I'm gay. I've told a few people but I'd like to be more open about it with more people. My brothers know and a couple friends but every time I want to tell my parents I kinda hit a wall. The subtle approach hasn't worked so I guess I just gotta muster up the confidence and say it. I haven't done it yet but hopefully someday soon it'll happen
