Ok new to the site and not really sure what to expect ,but here it goes.... I'm 33 yrs. old and still totally 100% in the closet. I recent became involved with a guy who I have very strong feelings for and really want to see if it can lead to my white knight. Only problem is I want more then a physical relationship I want holding hands on a midnight walk , going on a real date , snuggling up on the couch and watching a movie, etc the list goes on. To do this i would have to come out to my roommate there would be no way of hiding this from him. We had a conversation about his 15 yr son and how he thinks his son is gay and how he would disown him. So needless to say very worried about coming out to him not to mention I'm his boss at work and I'm really not ready to come out to 50 or so employees which in my mind I keep seeing this going south and him telling people at my job. What to do... I feel like to finally be me and be happy I need to make this step , but terrified at the same time. I have battled with depression in the past and even tried taking my life once do to my self hatred for the way I feel inside ,but now I finally feel like I have a chance to be truly happy and be ME the true me. Any advise? :bang:
I'm a little unclear about who is who, sorry. So I'm going to try to write them down and see if you can confirm that I can tell who everyone is. - A guy that you are interested in/in a relationship with (which?) - A different, homophobic guy who is your roommate and also happens to be an employee - 50 employees Is that right? So I guess I'd ask, how do your employees feel about LGBT issues? Could you still have their respect as their boss if they knew you were gay? It seems like to be happy you have to come out, both to be true to yourself and so you will never wonder what could have happened between you and the guy you're interested in. And also it sounds like you'd have to move away from the roommate, because I'm assuming you won't be able to stay with him if he's as bigoted as he sounds. And my advice probably won't make much sense if I misunderstood who was who, so sorry if that's the case.
i would suggest starting small with those you know will be supportive and work your way out... I would also slow down, you dont have to rush into this. With homophobic people you might gauge them, bring up gay marriage or something and see if they just "joke" or if they are really homophobic. Just make sure your coming out because your ready, and not other reasons...
^This. Well said. Taking it slow and steady is definitely the way to go. Come out to someone you know is very accepting first, to build up your confidence. At some point, I think I just learned to ignore homophobic comments, or just take it with a grain of salt. Even their jokes can sometimes signal that they're uncomfortable.
