I want to come out REALLY BAD. But at the same time I feel like if I do come out I will just alienate myself from my straight friends. I want my friends to think of me as they have always thought of me, not just as the "gay friend." I know it sounds silly, but the fact that what I want to reveal will change people's opinion of me forever is somewhat overwhelming. Basically, in a nutshell, whenever I try to come out I always beat around the bush and I lose confidence in myself. I've never come out before, I don't know how to swiftly and easily break the news from someone. I also have a tendency to overthink everything, and I always overthink how I should come out. I tried my best to explain how I feel but I know that feelings are sometimes hard to describe. I know once I start to come out that it will be easier from there, because I would have done it before. I know every situation is different, but just knowing that I came out to one person might make it easier. I don't know. I keep overthinking this and if I do I'm never going to come out. Has anyone else felt this same way, and how do people overcome this? Hearing other people's experiences with overcoming overthinking might ease my thoughts a bit.
have you tried texting or a letter, plus coming out to a best friend/ someone you have known for a long time and would take the news well
Yes, I do. Yet, good friends will not think of you as the gay friend. If yours are like that, then you have nothing to fear. I agree with Peacemaker. If it feels better, you can try texting or writing a letters. Others think it's easier to just say "I'm gay" and that's it. You can also try coming out subtly. For example, comment on guys you think are cute, or you can start bringing up a lot of LGBT news. Good luck!
Well, first you would want to come out to your closest friend/family member. Do you know an ally who just thinks, "Love is love. It doesn't matter." Try coming out to them first, whether it be a letter, in person, text, whatever works best for you. I outed myself to my sister when we were talking about stuff. It's been a month and she's treated me the same all the way. Try to show them you are the same person and don't act any differently. If your friends just start to think of you as just their gay friend, then chances are they weren't your real friends to begin with. Good luck. (*hug*)
prussianblue100, that's awesome! I'm glad that you came out to your sister. I think I've found a few close friends like your sister who I can trust coming out to who will still love me for who I am. I think that it will take me some practicing first before I do. Peacemaker and Nychthemeron, I have mixed emotions about that idea. I'm not one to text important things like this just because I don't like the pace of texting. A letter might work though, it would help me to say things I feel without actually saying it though. I might consider a letter.
If your friends don't accept you for who you are, then they're not your true friends. Like someone stated above, they should just think of you as a friend, not a gay/queer friend. I would suggest coming out to one close friend, either via Facebook or texting and see what their reaction is. Maybe that special could help you come out to your other friends in the future.
