Help Needed

It'd be really great if someone could give me advice on this situation cos i'm completely lost in what I should do.

I have this friend who i met almost 2 years ago now and the first time we met, we sort of clicked straight away! We became best friends so fast! He's almost 2 years younger than me which is a problem because i'm 18 but he acts a lot older for his age and he's more mature! So we had this big group of friends and me and him we're better friends with each other than we were with the rest of them even tho we didn't know each other that well!

After a few weeks he started grabbing my ass and doing all those stupid things as a joke! But after a while it became more than a joke to me because he'd start doing more things like lying on top of me in a sex position kind of way! All of our friends started 2 notice and they started to slag him and whenever he'd do something i'd let out a shout pretending to be scared! He got really pissed off by this and asked me to stop telling them! When he's around he'd always have his hand down his boxers feeling his cock! Most of the time I had to stay sitting down to hide boners from all these things he did! He was always there for me when I needed to talk to someone and he asked me 1 day if he could come to my house! At the time I was scared and said no cos i wasn't completely aware of what exactly was going on! After a while he started asking me if i was gay! I'd always say no and ask him why he thought this! He never said tho! He'd just constantly ask me!

So time went on and I didn't see him much during the months of school but then New Years Eve 2005 came along! All our friends were drinking in the bushes except us! He hated drink because his dad is an alcoholic and his parents are separated and his lives with his mum! So there was these girls there and I'd never kissed one properly before and one of them was really drunk and I kissed her! Everyone was watching, including him and after it, he came up to me and said "and I thought you were gay"! He went home shortly after and I think he was pissed off!

I didn't see him much after that, I left that group of friends because I didn't like them that much, they weren't very nice people! So I made new friends! They'd always slag me when I walked by and he did too! Around May last year he stopped slagging me and he came up to me and said sorry and he won't do it again! He stopped coming out of his house a while after I left the group so his friends stopped calling for him!

So it's September 2006 and we're back in school! I saw him everyday and realised how much I missed him because secretly I loved him but I was too scared back at the start to admit it! I decided to try and go after him but i didn't know how so I told some of my friends the situation but they told me I shouldn't! I tried anyway tho! I started talking to him everytime I saw him on corridors in school! I decided the only way I could get a proper chance to talk to him was by walking home with him from school! I waited for a day when his friends left him to walk home by himself! It was October now and I stood beside him after school and started talking and then he asked me to walk with him cos his friends weren't there! We started walking and I started to talk about old times with him! I asked him why he always touched me and acted gay with me and why he always asked if I was gay and why he got so pissed off on New Years Eve! He didn't answer most of them but he told me very slightly that he might like some guys (i think)! I didn't really understand what he meant! He started telling me about what a bad time he was having and how he had done stupid things in anger! I knew there was something wrong but I didn't know what, I still don't! Anyway I didn't find anything else out that day!

So we'd keep talking every now and again! I told him there was something I wanted to tell him! I was going to tell him I liked him! He told me I could only tell him on the corridor so I didn't get to tell him in the end! I tested him one day cos I brushed off his ass with my hand, he got kind of freaked out when he realised I did it! After that even if I brushed off his arm, he'd jump in fright! I kept telling him I needed to tell him something but he'd have to let me walk home with him again to explain it because it would take time! He wouldn't walk home tho! I was thinking of telling him I was bi and not that I liked him straight away! So after New Years 2006 i was on msn and he signed in! He never comes on so my heart was pounding when I saw his name pop up! I started talking to him! I asked him how his new years went! He said it was shit! I said i knew that and I told him i cared a lot about him and that he was my best friend and if he ever needs someone to talk to he can come to me! He just said thanks! The day after in school he told me I really freaked him out!

So in early March, he started asking me was I gay again everytime he saw me! I kept saying no until after I while I said "why do you keep asking? you're making me think you've got something to hide"! He smirked and didn't reply! I just said I'll tell him the truth about my sexuality if he lets me walk home with him but he said no!

So now it's Easter 2007 and we're on a 2 week break from school! He still doesn't go out with his friends so I decided to call for him one night with my friends! One of my friends who knew him started saying he felt sorry for him and we definatly should call for him but we were saying this outside his house and with his window open he heard us! When we called he said he's not coming out and he doesn't need our pity! So a week later I tried again, this time my friends started having a funny conversation with him and it went really well but he didn't come out!

So this week we're back in school and I've been talking to him loads! On Monday i was messing with him bout something! Tuesday he told me to stop calling for him but after he said that I asked him to a party which was on Friday! He said maybe (which was a big improvement) and we joked about who would be there! Wednesday he kept waving at me at lunch! On Thursday he started waving to me again before giving me the middle finger but it was in a messy kinda way and i gave him it back! So when we were walking in from lunch I asked him why he was giving me the finger and he said cos I kept staring at him! I didn't think he noticed and I wasn't staring that much! So i said to him he was staring at me and he said no he wasn't and told me to go back to my friends! Then walking down the corridor 5mins later he started waving at me again! So on Friday I asked him to the party again and he said straight out no! I said "but everyone will be drinking and i'll have no one to talk to" and he went mental when he heard there was gonna be there! He goes "I hate drink, don't go to the party if u dont want to be on your own" and that was it! Then later he just ignored me walking down the corridor and then a while later I asked him to walk home with me and he said no as usual! He's stubborn like me! My stubborness is why I haven't gotten over him after so long! I don't want to!
But i've no idea how i'm going to persuade him to give me the chance to walk home with him so I can talk to him or get him out of his house!

So i need some advice! I love this guy, I've cried over him loads and i'm really really upset all the time about him! I want him so bad but I don't know if he wants me! I just don't know what to do, he's so stubborn that he won't move out of his routine and walk home with me or come out of his house!

So please help me if you can, it'd mean a lot!

 

thanks for your advice! he's 16 and i'm 18 but it doesn't matter to me and i don't think it would matter to him! i'm going to tell him i'm bi tomorrow if I get the chance! i hope it works!

 

It didn't work 2day, i missed my chance, i got 2 talk 2 him for 2 seconds and made him laugh! i told him bout pictures someone put up on bebo of him and he got all embarrassed! anyway i'll try again tomorrow!

 

I suppose I'll post an update on what's happening! It's not going well at all! The other day I tried to call him over to me so I could talk to him but he made a face and gave me the finger! My friend told me I should ignore him for a day and see if he tries to talk to me! I did that yesterday and he did actually try to talk to me! So today I was walking up a corridor in school and he saw me and he goes to his friend "There he is" meaning me! I don't know what that was about! So anyway later on he was walking in front of me and I called his name! He wouldn't look back so I walked beside him and he had a massive grin on his face! I asked him why he was ignoring me and he said he was ignoring me because he doesn't think of me as his friend, he doesn't know why I keep talking to him, he doesn't care what I have to say and he doesn't know me that well! Truth is though, it was a stupid thing for him to say because he does know me quite well and if he doesn't care about me why would he say hi to me everytime I see him? Why would he keep asking if I was gay if he doesn't care?

After school I had no one to walk home with (cos my other friend went off with his girlfriend) and I saw him standing on his own waiting for his friends! I told him why I was on my own and he seemed in a better mood! I asked him if he wanted to walk with me but he said he couldn't cos he was getting a lift! But I know that if he hadn't have been getting a lift, he would have walked with me! I could tell he wanted to! I walked on and he said my name as I walked!

He confuses me so much, he's just so complicated! Any ideas what I can do?

I think i've lost my chances! If I hadn't been so scared of telling him a few months back, I think things would be a whole lot different!

 

Ok here's an update on how things are going! It's not getting any better!

So basically the last few weeks i've been trying to talk to him! I've just talked to him as much as I can about random things and it's been going well! One day he even walked down a corridor with me with his hand on my shoulder while i was talking to him! He still won't let me walk home with him! And the days I almost had a chance, someone would come along and walk with us and ruin it! Last week I told him I needed to talk to him badly and if he'd give me a chance, i'd never bother him again! He said alright and that he'd talk to me next time he was on msn! He never came on msn!

So this week I'd talk to him any chance I'd get still! On friday I asked him could I walk home with him, he said no! He said no again later when he saw me and I hadn't even asked him (I wasn't going to either)!

Yesterday I was really upset about it all so I decided to ring him! It was really hard for me to do but I did it! It didn't go well though! I told him I needed to talk to him and that this was the reason I wanted to walk home with him or to come on msn all the time! I asked him could I meet him somewhere to talk and he said no! I asked could I talk on the phone then! All he said was no! Then he goes "NEVER" really loud and kind of scared! I said "never what?" and he said "NEVER tell me what you're going to tell me"! I asked why and he said "why should you?" acting really childish! Then he said he'd talk to me tomorrow which is today (Sunday) and I said "oh will you be on msn or something?" and he said "no chances are I won't be"! Then i asked could I talk to him in school and he said ok! I don't know what way to take the whole "never" thing!

So basically I need an idea or any sort of advice! I've got 4 days left of school that I might be able to talk to him! I don't know what to say though! Maybe he knows what I want to tell him but he could be scared or too young to deal with whats going on but that could be just wishful thinking on my part!

Please help me if you can and thanks for all your advice before!

 

So I talked to him today finally! I got a chance in school and I went up to him and asked him if he knew what I wanted to tell him! He said "What? That you're a fag?" and I didnt really know what to say to that and said "No not really, i like both" and he laughed! I asked why he wanted to know and he said "you always gave me the impression you were"! Then he said he felt dirty standing beside me but then said he was messing! I told him it was all the things he used to do to me that made me think he was! He just said "oh god" to that!

So later on I saw him and he saw me and laughed at me and walked by!

So I don't know what to do now! Part of me still believes I have a chance, I don't know why! I don't know whether he's hiding something or telling the truth! I don't know whether I should give up or keep trying after that! Any ideas what I should do?

Also later I was thinking back on what he used to do and I was wondering why did he start hitting me when everyone saw him being gay all the time? And then why did he continue to act gay when no one was looking? And why did he give out if I told people?

 

Well everythings gone downhill now! He came on msn today, and stayed on for ages and we had a long talk! He kept randomly sayin "fag" after sentences and then after he'd say he's joking! Then i asked him if he would tell anyone and he said no but he said everyone kinda guessed that i was a "fag" as he continues to call me! He asked me who else knew I was a "fag" and i told him only 3 other people! I said i've only told people i can trust! I asked him why he acted gay towards me all the time if he knew I was bi and he said "to try and make you confess that your a "fag""! I said it didn't work back then and it only made me think he was gay and i told him i think he is even now! i said "u dont call someone a fag 2 der face unless ur insecure or a complete prick and i dont think ur a prick"! He said he doesn't remember actually saying it to my face and I told him he did and that he laughed at me too! He said "ah well"! He said "its jus awkward bein around a homo"! I asked him if he even liked me as a friend, he said he doesn't know me! I said he used to and he said ye he did back then! Then he went!

So I don't know what to think now! I'm really confused still! What i want to know is why would he try so hard to make me tell him im bi! No one else did that ever!