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When do you know it's time to come out?

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by tone, Jul 24, 2014.

  1. tone

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Jun 5, 2014
    Messages:
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    Location:
    Colorado
    Gender:
    Male (trans*)
    So, I want to come out to my parents as transgender, but I don't know if I should. I've been out to some friends and my sister for about a month and I present masculinely as much as I can. My parents are pretty accepting so I'm not really very scared about them kicking me out or reacting terribly. My mom is religious, but so am I, and we've had some discussions about people being gay and the like, she says she doesn't fully understand it, but she knows it's not a choice and is generally really accepting. Overall I'm not worried about their reaction, I know they won't just be like "ok, awesome, you're now my son" but they won't freak out either.

    The thing is, I just don't know when is the right time. I go back to school in less than a month, and I'll be on a trip for two week right before that. I've heard advice like don't come out right before a big trip or event because that's too chaotic. I just really want to be out so I can be addressed as a boy and buy more boy clothes and maybe see a gender therapist.

    I want to come out so I can be more comfortable, but I also don't want to make things awkward or rush into anything. I know it will kind of turn things upside down and there will be a lot of changes. Should I wait longer (I've known I was trans for a couple months) just to be more sure?

    I just need some advice :help:
     
  2. darkcomesoon

    Full Member

    Joined:
    May 17, 2014
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    1,359
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    Location:
    New Jersey
    Gender:
    Male (trans*)
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    Honestly, if you can wait, I would wait longer before you come out.

    It would probably be better to not come out so soon before going away, because it'll be easier if you're there for a while afterwards to help them get used to it, make changes, etc.
    Also, since a lot of parents like to believe it's just a phase, there's always a chance your parents won't fully believe you when you come out. If you come out later, you'll have known you were trans for more than just a couple months, and they might be less likely to think it's a phase.

    So I would wait a bit longer, but I doubt it would be that bad to come out now. If you really don't want to wait, just go for it.