I really want to tell my father I'm gay / bi but I don't really trust him and I fear that he will tell everyone... A year ago he said being gay was fine (after somebody called me a f** and he threatened to report to the police) but I am still not sure. Thoughts?
I just came out to myself about 5 days ago and have only told 4 friends. The reasonable thing is to let that sink in and give it some time...but there are so many bottled emotions and they keep exploding while causing unwanted consequences...and they won't stop boiling until I tell my parents but I just...can't. I don't want to be the one to ruin everything. Our family is happy and perfect right now for once...who am I to spoil it? The thing that you must face (and I guess that I will have to, also) is that everyone will have to know at some point. If you (we) keep hiding our sexual identity, we will never be able to live happily. We just need to say it because the sooner we do it, the sooner it becomes old news and everything is normal again...er...as normal as it can me. You're not alone on this.
Does your mother know? If not, maybe you should tell her first. Usually mothers are more supportive. Other than that, he is your father and if he threatened the person with the popos, chances are he's going to be very supportive. In my opinion, you should sit down and have a serious conversation regarding this topic and come out to him, he seems like a very nice father. If you have any other questions, don't hesitate asking them and keep us updated! Lots of love, Andy ---------- Post added 25th Jul 2014 at 07:42 AM ---------- I'm sorry to hear that you're already blaming yourself for something that didn't happen. Although this is rather off-topic, I'd like to tell you that if your family gets "spoiled" (quoting you) because of you coming out, it means that they're not the happy family you were telling us about. A happy and strong family becomes even happier during these events because they trust their son/daughter even more. EDIT: Also, chances are your father already is suspecting you if he told you that being gay is okay. Might just be his wise words, but as I said, chances are he's suspecting. Parents usually know what's going on with their children. L.o.l. Andy
I'm in the same position as you, I don't really trust him. Neither do i trust my sister. So if you want to chat, PM me.
Based on what you said, it seems like your dad doesn't think any less of gay people. As for him telling other people, you could come out to him and express your concern about him telling others and how it would hurt you if he did so. I have some questions, though: 1.) Do you live with your dad (and if so, do you only live with him)? 2.) Why don't you trust him with keeping your sexuality a secret?
