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Scared of coming out to close friends?

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by ElvisFan, Jul 25, 2014.

  1. ElvisFan

    Regular Member

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    Hey, so I'm sure this question has been asked a million times on here, but I'm just really scared of coming out. I'll explain my situation a little and hopefully I can get some advice.

    Basically, for the majority of my short life (I'm only 18 right now) I've been sexually confused. When my friends were checking out the 'hot girls', I'd not be interested. I always felt like I was gay but I was too ashamed to admit it. Now I've grown up I've came to terms with myself and realised that it's absolutely nothing to be ashamed of, and I'm actually quite ashamed that I once thought less of myself for having gay thoughts.

    However, I'm still scared of coming out to my close friends. I do have a feeling that a few of them may think that I'm gay, and one person (female) has mentioned to me on multiple occasions that it's alright to be gay, so I assume she's trying to subliminally let me know that it's alright to come out. As a result I've decided to come out to her first as I'm sure she'll be very supportive and help me with coming out to my other friends.

    How do I do it though? I'm going to be going round to another friends house tomorrow with 5 or 6 other people there so I'm hoping I can get some time alone with her to come out and tell her how I feel.

    Is this the right way to go about it or should I be doing it some other way? To be honest I'm still really scared about how she'll react, even though I think she should be very supportive. I'm probably just being paranoid, but I'm truly tired of keeping my true self hidden.

    I considered coming out to all my closest friends at the same time, but I figured it may end up being a little overwhelming for both them and myself if too many people were present.

    General advice would be greatly appreciated. I feel like I've just typed a bunch of incoherent text, but hopefully you can get my drift. I just find it very hand to put my feeling into words.

    Thanks.
     
  2. etcetera

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    So far I've only been able to come out to a few people. That being said, I found that practicing coming out aloud in a private setting (ie well insulated bathroom, empty house...) to yourself can help to get the words out when you need them. Hope this helps!
     
  3. Otaku

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    everytime i came out to a friend i would besicaly just say " i'm gay" ... i know it's kinda weird but it's the only way i've done so far , i never did a coming out speech , i just isolate that friend and stand infront of him/her and take my time to gather up all my courage and just .. blur it out "IM GAY!" and they usually hug me... and that's it for me ...
     
    #3 Otaku, Jul 25, 2014
    Last edited: Jul 25, 2014
  4. Jan92

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    If you know your friends are pretty ok about you being gay, but you're not completely sure how to tell them, you could make baby steps, I mean, you don't have to tell everyone immediately. I suggest you to come out first to your friend that you trust the most. You'll probably feel pretty nervous and insecure, but trust me, when you tell one person, those feelings of "fear" will go away eventually, because you start to think about "hey, that wasn't bad at all, maybe I should tell to these other people."

    Good luck!
     
  5. ElvisFan

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    Thanks for the encouraging messages!

    Yea, I am incredibly nervous and anxious right now but I figured once I get it out to one person it'll be so much easier for everyone else. I really hope it goes alright.

    Thanks!