Hi, I am not entirely sure of my orientation but have a major crush on a friend of mine. He really could be a pin up model plus we get on incredibly well.The problem is I can't interpret his actions - he e-mails me ten times a day and is very physical when we go out but he is always randomly hooking up with random women.It was his birthday last night and I was convinced we would finally make out - he was stroking my face for god's sake.But then some cheap slapper threw herself at him ( you can imagine how popular she is with me) I went home alone and couldn't sleep. Sorry for the rambling- but how do you know if a guy is bi/curious ? What to do in this situation ? It seriously is the gay curse- I put years of effort into the relationship and nothing and some drunken woman just needs to wear a tight top and gets him within a half hour of meeting ! Thanks for the advice.
First i'll give you what you really need!! ...(*hug*) Okay good now for the less fun talking part :icon_wink lol. Here's the basic foursteps i tell everyone..i'll discuss them in this probably long post; Investigate Assess the risk Plan a course of action Make your move --------------------------------------------------------------------------------- I'm afraid you've come across a very difficult task. Risky, as all love is. But in your case with bigger reprecussions unfortunately than the socail 'norms' (which need to be obliderated we're working on it believe me). Your task is to explore this possibility of love, while preparing for the worst. If he does reject you. You need to be ready to lose him. Along with any stigma/bullying that might come. But you have to ask yourself; Is he truely worth the risk right now. If your answer is yes or no. It doesn't really matter, that's for your to judge an do with it what you will. But here's something to do even before that... Investigate Do some snooping (careful!) see if he shows any sure-fire signs. Walking oddly does not count, nor does any stereotype. See if you catch him saying anything that could give you a clue, or observe his reaction when subjects like gays and bisexuals come up. Things like that. Once you have a few clues and have made sure you're okay with the huge risk you're taking, plan how you might ask him, then make your move. Hope for the best, and prepare for the worst. -- Bless you on your attempt and hopefully this one has a happy ending. Welcome to EC.
Welcome to EC, Jamo! Listen to Proud's advice ^^ it's very good! Personally speaking, I think my sexuality is evident in how I physically interact with my friends, always sitting close to them or putting my arm around them, etc. Of course, this quality shouldn't be seen as a written-in-stone "gay" quality, as some people are just very physical by nature. However, if I weren't as...let's say, "comfortable" with guys as I am ^^ I wouldn't make as much physical contact as I do, even when I know that they're straight.
Well, from what you've said, it's obvious that he loves you a lot as a friend. I would come out to him, but that's a whole other topic. You are at least bisexual since your attracted to him and all! Once you've come into acceptance of your orientation and come out to him, he'll know for sure that it's OK take the relationship to the next step (only, if he turns out to be attracted to men AND you, though; if not, then at least you still have a good friend whom you'll probally feel closer to after confiding your orientation to him).
Well he could have feelings for you but be over-compensating because isn't sure of HIS orientation either, right? Or he could just be criminally flirtatious--as in, he should be locked up for leading you on. Still, if you don't want to be subject to the whims of Fate, you have to do something proactive. Whether that's admitting your feelings for him, or coming out to him, or stroking his face back and then kissing him, or kidnapping him and tieing him up to a bed somewhere... Actually, I might go with telling him you wanna make out with him (the next time that is a burning need). Then if he's like, "What so you're gay?" you can say, "I don't know--all I know is if I don't get to kiss you I'm gonna go crazy!"
Mmm...sounds like a cute crush! If anyone has a sure-fire way to see if someone likes you, lemme know! It seems like coming out to him is a good was to see how he feels about you. Who knows! He may be thinking the same thing about you! Welcome to ec!
