l am out of options here. I am ripping myself to pieces on the inside. I need to ask... What would be the best way to tell a boy that i really dig him... Without chance of him telling others, or maybe ruining the friendship we do have? I dont know... Its going to kill me until i do... I had a HUGE thread about my trials of coming to terms witb my sexualoty, which mentioned this boy a LOT. It would be beneficial if you read it before responding, but any help will do... http://emptyclosets.com/forum/coming-out-advice/129284-need-some-serious-advice.html
I'm going to go on an assumption. You say you're "out to those closest to you", so I'm going to assume he knows you're gay. If not, well, that's the first step. But assuming you are, I'd say the best way might be to approach it sort of sideways. Instead of trying to find out if he's interested, you might go in assuming he ISN'T interested in you. Reason being - it makes it a lot easier for you if it ends up he isn't interested. (Well, "easier" as in "you'll know what to do, and your butt will be covered" not "it'll be really wonderful".) So you might get him alone and say something like the following: "First off, thanks for sticking by me - coming out to you wasn't easy. Next, though, I've noticed I've been getting some feelings for you that I'm pretty sure aren't being returned. Because of that, I'm thinking it might be a good idea if I sort of put just a bit more space between us. Hopefully, that'll give me the headspace I need to get my head back into the right spot." Doing it this way accomplishes several things. * It lets him know you're interested in him "like that". * It lets him know that you're taking his position into consideration, which is always cool. * It doesn't put him on the spot. If he doesn't have the same interest in you, he's not forced to do that stammering "Um, well, I'm flattered and all, but, um..." He can just say "I understand - thanks for letting me know." * And if he IS interested in you, he now has a perfect opening to tell you so. Lex
Then THAT's your first move. Tell him you're gay. Not because "and I'm pretty sure you're gay too, so will you go out with me". No conditions. "I thought you should know, because you're my friend and I think you have the right to know." That's all. Lex
However it goes initially, it is the right thing for you to do to be yourself, and that is the only person you can be, because everybody else is taken.
