How to know for sure?

What are you struggling against exactly?
what do you think about when you feel the struggle?
What is the biggest road block to self acceptance that you're experiencing?

I've found that the more you struggle against something, the more intense it gets.
Perhaps try to find some activities that relax you and each time you think about the struggle, try to throw a sheet of acceptance over it.

Loving and accepting yourself just the way you are involves a different path for everyone. Different techniques, theories and epiphanies work for different people. This why there's so many different self-help / spiritual books out there.

I wish I could give you more to work with.

 

I'm sorry your relationships have ended like that, but it's good that he came around.

I don't really think there's a 100% sure way to know. I suppose you can let yourself daydream about the ladies - do you feel happier than you do when you daydream about men? Would you prefer to spend your life with a woman? Things like that.

In any case, I hope everything works out for you. I understand the confusion and frustration. I think we all do.

 

That's perfectly understandable. I feel the same way.

But, if you think about it, we (LGBT+ people) are getting more rights as time passes. Soon, in the future, you won't have to feel that way because no one will care - in the best way possible.

It's dangerous, yeah, but confidence is the key. If you are confident, people are less likely to spout bullshit at you. You can also visit pride parades to mingle with other LGBT+ people, if you don't already. If you're concerned about being perceived as gay, take solace in the fact that there are many straight allies who attend pride parades, and if you're not, go wild.

Besides, I hold my mom's and my sister's hands all the time. People don't harass me for that.

Trust me. People don't like looking at alternatives. They see you holding hands with another woman? Oh, is she a really close friend? Is she a sister? Maybe a cousin?

You kiss another woman? Oh, is that apart of your culture? It's platonic, isn't it?

:dry:

But, you shouldn't be ashamed. I know that's easier said than done, but you really shouldn't. Take your time. (*hug*)

 

Sorry, couldn't really understand what you meant by another forum?

And, yes, you're right. It's definitely no one's business who you fancy.

Confidence, unfortunately, is something a lot of us struggle with. it's a tough thing to wrestle, but definitely possible to conquer!

Take what you makes you feel insecure and not confident, whether it's all of you or only one part of you, and ask yourself why, exactly, does it make you feel that way?

You're ugly?

How come?
Who says?
How do they know?
Isn't beauty in the eye of the beholder?
If you think you're ugly, does it really matter if everyone else thinks you're beautiful?

You're stupid?

How come?
Who says?
How do they know?
Isn't intelligence measured in more ways than just stupid letter grades on a report card?
And who's to say no one will find what you do is inspiring, smart, and clever?

And so on.

It may not work for you, but it's worth a try.

 

being lesbian is neat so if u think u might be dont be scared, it is neat

 

Would it help you if you would watch one or two movies to get more used to the thought?
http://emptyclosets.com/forum/entertainment-media/146335-lgbt-chick-flix.html

You could stick to the really romantic ones...

 

What's helped me a lot with accepting myself is simply scrolling through lesbian tumblr pages, watching the gay women channel on youtube, watching TV shows on that feature lesbian couples, and journaling out my feelings.

I'm still struggling with accepting my feelings as well, but things will get better. It just takes time. (*hug*)

 

i went to pride for the first time this year alone and it was fantastic. i went to absorb the atmosphere and the people. the only advise i can give you is "be you" im still trying to learn that myself.

good luck.

 

it was a blast, even if i had to drive an hour to get there. i was just another person in the crowd.

 

Don't fret, becoming comfortable with your sexuality and freely expressing it can seem scary. I currently face the same issue you're discussing, I feel uncomfortable about what the general public may feel of me and a guy if we're in public together. I'm totally proud and accepting of my sexuality I just need to gravitate away from what the public may think of me.

What I've found to help the most is more exposure to the LGBTQ+ community. I currently have a few LGBTQ+ allies as friends and even a lesbian friend, which has helped me tremendously. In addition to that, I think attending a pride parade will also help me and you with our struggles. I also think the religious doctrine/culture my parents forced me to accept has had an effect on me as well as what I perceive as normal. I'm not sure if this applies to you, but I've found relief in rejecting the homophobia my parents have placed into my life. It's a slow process, but I feel we will reach a point where we're totally comfortable with ourselves in a social setting.

I also recommend watching some LGBTQ+ flicks on YouTube. YouTube has a couple that feature a lesbian couple. Finally I recommend you to continue to comment here or maybe even join your university's LGBT or Gay Straight Alliance club if you're currently attending college. If you're not in college there's also PFLAG and The Trevor Project both of which have volunteer options.

 

It's good to know that you have gay friends . You should most definitely tell him that you're Lesbian! Just do so when you're ready, but also remember coming out doesn't have to be perfect, ya just do it. Then once you're out maybe you and him can head to the gay bar you were talking about?

He'll probably be thrilled to know you're lesbian and your other gay friends haha.

 

It can be hard to know for sure but one thing that's helped is to tell myself to stop worrying so much. Just be me and stop worrying about fitting a label. I know I like women and would have a relationship with one and that's all that matters.

I think a lot of my doubt and insecurity about my sexuality stems from the fact that I was harassed about it when I was younger and also the fact that I can be an anxious and insecure person in general. So it's been a lot of work overcoming all that but I'm getting there.