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Coming out accidentally

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by One Man Army, Jul 29, 2014.

  1. One Man Army

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    How many of you came out accidentally? That is, you'd planned to come out to a certain person or people at a set time, but things happened that forced (or helped) you to come out earlier?

    I ask because I think my colleagues have a strong suspicion I'm gay. Today we were joking around and debating whether we'd go on holiday on our own. Myself and one other guy (we'll call him Steve, he's straight) both said we would do it and somebody else jokingly suggested we should go together.

    I played along with the joke and asked Steve where we should go.
    One of the ladies in the office said to me 'Steve's not gay, you know!' I expressed fake disappointment in an exaggerated way, but I think she suspects nonetheless.

    Obviously this was just a bit of office banter but I don't think it'll be long before I give up pretending I'm straight. Ideally they're not the people I want to come out to first, but it's going to happen soon anyway.

    Anyone got any similar stories? And do you think I should reign in the mock-gay banter with other guys, seeing as I actually am gay?
     
  2. Pax

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    It's happened accidentally with a few people for me. I'm both opposed to lying and terrible at it anyway, so if someone asks if I'm gay or jokes about the possibility my silence and my 'guilty' look usually give me away.

    As for the mock-gay banter...depends what makes you feel comfortable really. If it doesn't upset you to engage it in, then I don't see a problem with it (as it doesn't sound like the casual-homophobia-breeding kind, from what you said). But, if you think that they would be supportive, maybe it's worth considering telling them so that you don't have to keep watching what you say every time this banter stuff crops up.
     
  3. One of my friends pretty much outed me to one of our conservative, anti-gay friends. I didn't acknowledge the fact that she was referring to me as a lesbian, but I'm pretty sure the friend knows nonetheless. I wasn't very happy tbh.
     
  4. Bolt35

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    i think i have one time. i was just having some conversation with a guy until he had to mentionthe "vagina". i told him that the thought of it was a bit disgusting to me, and he put me on the spotlight to say that i'm gay. though he was not too far off, but that was my mistake. I WAS ONLY A YOUNG TEEN WHEN I SAID THIS!
     
  5. One Man Army

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    Well, I enjoy most of the jokes in the office. I don't detect an undercurrent of homophobia from anyone, so if anyone asks me point-blank if I'm gay, I won't deny it.

    One of the older ladies keeps asking me what my 'ideal woman' is like, and up to now, I've side-stepped her questions or moved on to something else, which I think is making her even more suspicious!

    Anyway, I think I'll admit I'm gay if it comes to the crunch. There's no point in hiding it from people who aren't overtly anti-gay.
     
  6. Yossarian

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    Q: "What is your ideal woman like?"

    A: "She would be just like my boyfriend."
     
  7. BeingEarnest

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  8. pancakesexual

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    well i was having a conversation with my friend (who i thought i was already out to) and i said something about how i'd never come out to my sisters and she said "wait, come out?" and i was like yeah as pansexual and shes like i never knew you were pan and yeah that happened.
     
  9. ResidentTheatreKid

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    I'm so worried about accidentally coming out to my parents in a way that might make the situation worse so much that I might just come out on purpose in as easy a way as possible :frowning2: I'm not sure :/