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Why have i still not come out yet!?

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by blue123, Jul 31, 2014.

  1. blue123

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    Hi :icon_bigg

    i was just wondering why i have not yet came out? i realized i was gay about 2 years ago which was when i wrote my coming out letter to my mum that i have still not given her, its hidden away somewhere in my room where im hoping no one will find it. my mum is supportive of gay people and whenever there's something nasty said about a gay person she is always in shock at how someone could be so cruel to someone just because of their sexuality. My dad, two sisters and my youngest brother is all ok with same sex couples. the only person who hates gay people is my other brother who thinks gay people should not be allowed to marry or adopt children and whenever there are same sex people kissing on TV he gets all angry and says its wrong. But hes not the one stopping me from coming out because i don't care what he has to say and we have never got along, we really hate each other so i would not care at all if he didn't want anything to do with me!

    So if its not my brother stopping me coming out then what is it? i feel ready to come out and i know my mum especially will be supportive, but whenever i think about other people knowing that im gay it just cringes me out :confused: whenever i look at a girl when im out with my family i feel wrong and then i imagine that when i do come out and im out with my family they might assume that im checking out every girl i look at or talk to (which i probably am.. but that's not the point) i also feel like whatever female friend i have they might assume that its more then a friendship :help:

    i really want to come out to my mum but something is holding me back, i don't know what it is but its really annoying me! :confused: what should i do? :help:
     
  2. Nychthemeron

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    It's probably the fear of them not understanding, thinking that you're doing it for attention, or them looking you in a different light.

    Except for probably your brother, I assure you that your family will not do such a thing. Or, well, they don't sound like it, anyway. I came out to my mother thinking that I was going to get kicked out of the house, but she just told me it was OK. A few hours later, she was treating me like nothing has happened. LOL. She did push me to tell my dad, though...

    So, if you want to come out to one person, be aware that they might pressure you to come out to other people immediately. If you don't want that, make it VERY CLEAR that you want it a secret.
     
  3. pancakesexual

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    i'm having the same problem currently. my entire family would be supportive and i know that but something unknown to me is holding me back.

    idk i guess what i'm afraid of is all those little moments when they'll hesitate when they say girlfriend instead of boyfriend. and them constantly being cautious with their words bc i assume they will feel like they're meeting a whole new person when in reality i'm the same girl they've always known the only difference being i like girls instead of guys

    there's also the fear of them over-analyzing everything i do and connecting things that aren't actually true (ex. "oh that's why she cut her hair short, she's a lesbian it all makes sense now!" when i actually just like how my hair looks short)

    i think we both should toughen up and get on with it but i understand how hard it is. stay strong and do it when your ready, you're the only one who can decide when that is. :kiss: