Hi, EC! I am a pretty loud and obnoxious 14 year-old, but when it comes to dating and talking about liking people, I'm extremely shy - that, or I pretend I'm the straightest girl in the world, when in reality, I'm a super awesome bisexual with a slight preference of girls over guys. I got some advice from an admin on here in dealing with my religion and sexuality, so I already know I won't be able to come out to my family or people close to my family for a looooong, loooooooooooooong time. However, I want to start coming out to my friends, but I'm completely clueless on how to do so. Like I said, I'm 14, and my friends are too. They've never had any experiences with any LGBT people, and it'll probably come as a big surprise to them that I, out of all people, am bisexual. They're the kind of people to either freak out and think because I'm not straight I'm magically attracted to every person within eyesight, including them, or they'd laugh at me, take it lightly, and think I'm weird for liking girls. We have this one gay kid in our class, and everybody supported him. However, I've talked to some of them about bisexuality in women and being lesbian, and they all thought that liking girls was weird and/or gross. I mean, who knows, they might support me because I'm their friend, but I don't want them to react like I think they will, and I don't know how to tell them. My question for you is - how do I start the conversation and then come out to a bunch of immature 14 year-olds? Lol I'm immature too, but not when it comes to my LGBT family! I love you all!
Personally, I came out via Facebook message because I was afraid of actually telling them face-to-face. A plus to something like that is that they have time to process what you've said and think about how they want to respond before they write back. Before you come out, I would try to help them get a bit more comfortable with lesbian/bi girls. Next time the topic comes up (or you can bring it up yourself), tell them you don't think it's weird or gross, and ask them why they think it is. See if you can start to convince them that it's okay. This could help them be more accepting when you come out to them. They're immature, certainly, but they don't seem overtly homophobic. They think it's weird and gross, but they don't seem to think it's wrong or a horrible sin or something like that, which is much harder to get past. When you bring up the topic of lesbian/bi girls, look for statements like "I have nothing against gay people, I just think it's kinda weird", that would imply an immature sort of ignorance, but nothing that they wouldn't be able to get past and keep being your friend. When you come out to them, you should be prepared for questions and know that they'll still probably think it's weird and gross, but I would bet they'll get used to it. When the time comes, just say something along the lines of, "Hey guys, I've got something to tell you," and take it from there. Or you can always send a Facebook message or something like that. Either way, be prepared for questions and less than super mature reactions. Good luck
I agree with all of the pre-coming out advice from darkcomesoon, and I'll add my advice for coming out. I came out to my mom & guy best friend with the slightly awkward, randomly saying "I should probably let you know I like girls, and guys too, sometimes." And that was ok, it got the job done, but I found those conversations to be super stressful. But how I came out to my dad I would recommend. I started talking about a show with a lesbian main character. Then after talking about the show for a few minutes I told him that, "I really connected with her because I like girls too, and I also like some guys." The easing into a conversation helped me to be more sane, and I think it was less of a shock for him that way. I think the most important thing to remember when coming out is to try to stay calm. If you act in a calm, casual, and mature way your friend's reactions will probably be less severe. Good luck, I hope everything works out (&&&) (*hug*)
