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So I accepted that I'm gay but...

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by NewGay90, Aug 4, 2014.

  1. NewGay90

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    Hi all,

    I posted a thread a few days ago 'Am I gay'. Long story short, I realised that I was, as someone put it, a flaming homosexual and more to the point I am now proud and accept the fact that I want a boyfriend.

    However, coming out will be extremely difficult. I am from a traditional indian family (born in UK) and to top it off, we are strict christians so coming out wont go down well. Furthermore I also want to cross dress and wear makeup etc. so, what do I do?

    Also, a friend of mine is also a gay indian and I know he likes me and I like him (a lot, he is beautiful) so should I ask him out on a date?
     
  2. darkcomesoon

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    You only just came out to yourself, so you can give it some time before you come out to your family. Don't worry about it too much yet.

    That being said, I don't know how old you are or how dependent you are on your parents, but if you think they might take it so badly that they would cut you off, make sure you are not dependent on them before you come out to them. If you are not dependent on them, coming out to them is just the matter of building up the courage to tell them, and being prepared to face a possibly harsh reaction. Make sure that you have friends who support you and who can help you out if your family doesn't react well.

    Oh and about your friend, you should totally ask him out! :slight_smile:
     
  3. esc1010

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    Congrats!!
    And you should do whatever you feel comfortable doing. :grin:
     
  4. NewGay90

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    Yeah, I am quite dependant at the moment on my parents. Also, I am actually going out for dinner with him today! He sounded excited when I asked him but I didn't tell him I'm gay although I might...

    ---------- Post added 5th Aug 2014 at 02:35 AM ----------

    Thanks! At the mpment I will stay in the closet I think and I am going out for dinner with a gay friend so it should be great when I tell him!!(!)
     
  5. RedFireFly

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    Good luck! Tell me how it goes afterwards please! c:
     
  6. PatrickUK

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    Well, you made a first step towards emptying your closet by coming on here and telling all of us. That's how it began for me, many years ago - by telling online friends and acquaintances. We may not know you personally, but don't underestimate the value and significance of just admitting it and saying it to someone.. anyone.

    While you are dependent on your parents, I would caution against saying anything to them as it could go horribly wrong. It may not, but it is a big risk, especially if they hold rather conservative views. In the meantime, tell who you reasonably can as it will boost your confidence, but maybe not people who know, or are close to your parents.

    When the time comes to tell your parents do a bit of advance planning. The worst thing is to come out to your parents with no preparation whatsoever and find yourself flailing around for responses and answers to their comments or questions. More often than not, these unplanned situations get quite tense as everyone is reacting in the heat of the moment. It's much better if you envision the situation beforehand and consider their questions/comments and your responses. It may not be perfect, but it might go a lot better if you do that.
     
  7. RiordanT

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    I'm not good with handling the coming out stuff.. but I feel that there's no pressure in coming out to your family, just come out to whoever you're comfortable with!
     
  8. NewGay90

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    Good news everyone!! I have a boyfriend! Turns out he was madly in love with me lol. Ah, we cuddled and kissed so much. It feels great
     
  9. user123456

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    Congrats man, happy to hear a happy story :slight_smile: have fun
     
  10. gazwkd

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    Luckily being in the UK there are so many avenues of support available, a little internet search should turn quite a few places where you can find support and new friends. I can't really advise you on the parental front although I would advise in the long run being honest where you can in the long run will enable you to live your life instead of having to lead a double life which tends to be a little soul destroying and many regret in later life.

    Good luck on your journey of self discovery though :wink: I will be an amazing ride :wink: