And my mom seemed fine with it at first. My dad and sibling were as well. but last night before I went to bed I stopped in their room to say goodnight. My mom was balling and told me "I need time, I can't change overnight". I don't expect her to. I'm not rejecting my birth name, I want to keep it as my middle name, I just want to be called something else to help alleviate some of the social dysphoria I've been experiencing. I feel terrible my mom is upset. Any advice? quick update: Just talked to her a little bit. She says she just doesn't know what to think right now. There's a lot of other stuff going on with our extended family now too.
I think you're mum's overreacting. Just reassure her that you're the same person, nothing's actually changed about you - as such, she doesn't have to change. Maybe ask her what she feels she need to change about herself, although I bet it's probably how she sees or addresses you. Similarly, maybe ask her why your gender upsets her.
I really don't think she's upset about my Gender Identtity. I think it's just I picked a bad time to come out (like I mentioned there is a lot of shit going on). I think we'll talk about more in a little while. I'm definitely going to assure her that just because I want to use a different name doesn't mean I'm a different person.
Understandable. I hope you don't feel like expressing your gender identity is a burden to your mum or another thing to have her worried about just now.
No matter what your "coming out" might entail, parents need time to absorb the information and deal with it in their own way. Odds are you dealt with your own situation for a while and have had time to work through it. She has to start from where you are already comfortable. The loss of the concept of what she though about you is likely what she is dealing with. Its not a bad or good thing. But in any case where there is chance, there is a loss of some kind. And that takes time to grieve. Again, not in a bad way, but in a way that helps her cope with all the things that have changed about you that she very likely figured were static and unchanging..
Hi there! First off, congratulations on coming out! Something to be proud of. Don't worry about the timing. You did what you needed to do, because you felt it was the right time for you. That's all that matters. Reassuring your mom that things will be fine, and you will still be/are the same person, will go a long way in helping her to come around. As it was said above, give her time, and if she asks you questions or wants to speak with you about it, be open to that and try to provide her with answers in the best way that you can.
Congratulations on coming out! And don't worry about your mom's reaction. Like the others have said just give her time. When I told my mom she was shell-shocked. I wasn't home at the time and our conversations were over the phone and by email. She kept asking me questions so that she could try to understand, and I explained everything to her; how I felt, what I wanted to do, and anything she asked. It can feel frustrating to have to explain yourself multiple times when it feels so obvious to you, but in the end its worth it. Besides, she may have had an inkling about your situation already. My mom told me that she always thought there would be a day that I told her I was gay. I just said girl instead. Best of luck!
Definitely just give her time. Though it may not seem like a big change to you, this is a big change for her, and she needs some time to adjust. Give her some time to get used to the idea, and help her out by reassuring her that you really are still the same person, and that it's not as big a change as it seems.
