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What First?

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by Kewl, Aug 7, 2014.

  1. Kewl

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    So for a while I did a lot of thinking and got to the conclusion I was bi. This was a month or two ago and I think now is a good time to come out. My parents are pretty excepting and I think I should come out to them first but I am a little worried they would not be too happy. Then I think telling a good friend first is the right idea but the same problem arises. Its not like any of them are homophobic but I am a little worried. Does any one have any advice?
     
  2. Mirko

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    Hi there, and welcome to EC! :slight_smile:

    What are your instincts telling you? If you would feel more comfortable coming out to your friend first, and starting to create a support network, I'd say go for it. Coming out to a friend first, could help in increasing your self-confidence in coming out to others.

    It's pretty normal to be worried and have all the 'what if' questions swirling around and be overall nervous about your first coming out. Remind yourself that your parents are accepting, and while they might be a bit surprised at first, they still should remain accepting and supportive. Similarly for your friend(s). Knowing that none of them are homophobic is something to hang on to.
     
  3. Bolt35

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    hey dude. first off, congrats on figuring that out. if you definitely know that your parents and friends are very accepting of LGBT people and it's community, then you have nothing to worry about. i guess you can call the "cold feets". we all had that scary feeling that we will lose someone that we're close with and that is a lot normal and common then you might think. if you feel that telling a good/close friend might help, then by all means go ahead. i always say do a bit of research and look into bisexuality to help answer some of the questions they might have, doesn't hurt to be prepared.
     
  4. Yossarian

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    You are only 14, that is a very early age to be "labeling" yourself publicly to your friends. If you want to talk about your feelings, it might be a good time to sit down with your parents and tell them what you are feeling, rather than simply informing them that you are bi, without a lot of experience in sexual activities of either kind, so they will become used to the idea that you may not end up hetero-normal as you mature, and so that they will give you some latitude to explore your sexuality as you get older and may want to bring friends of both sexes home with you or date them. Your feelings about your sexuality may very well home in on one sex or the other in the next few years as your preferred sex, even if you are not strictly straight.