I need some sort of "inspiration" to come out

Just know that coming out and high school are just the same. You scared to death of what happens when your out, it can make you scared, mad, but when your out you wonder why you made such a fuss about it

 

Hola, tio!

Be happy that we live in age of higher acceptance and that Spain has higher levels of it than most countries worldwide. You can marry in your country. I can't in my state! Can I come live there instead? Just remember that you're unique...just like everyone else. That's really true. Who cares that you're gay? Are you the only gay person in existence? It should matter as much as the person that you see on vacation having blue eyes instead of brown eyes. It makes up such a small part of you and it's what makes you "guay " and a wonderful person .

 

I don't think there's something like "the right moment" to come out. Maybe you can write to someone on Facebook or via SMS. You don't need to say straight away that you're gay. Just mention that you have recently broken up with a guy and you are not in a very good place emotionally right now. I'm sure people can solve the puzzles right on the spot and know that you're gay (or bi, but you can correct them, right ?).

It's hard at first but it does get better. The first time I came out was to my brother (who has been studying in Germany) via Yahoo Messenger and I cried like a baby, because finally someone knows and accepted me for who I really am (and I was in Southeast Asia back then, and fyi, the majority of people in my country still think it's a disease, ugh!!!). The last 3 people I came out to (all via Facebook) are also supportive and for the record, the anxiety was there all the way but at least I didn't cry my eyes out anymore. Sure, I did select the most open-minded people to come out to (and 2 of them are living very far away from me, thus no daily contact or meet-ups) but it doesn't mean that I didn't fear that they might have turned their backs on me. But then if they had done that, I guess I would have had to consider that I made friends with the wrong ones.

Imagine the joy of freedom you will finally have, I believe that will outweigh all the fear. And consider yourself lucky that you're living in Spain, which you said it yourself, is a very accepting country. At the end of the day, it's only you who can help yourself get out of the closet. So good luck in finding freedom and happiness.

 

Since you are quite sure that your family and close friends will love and accept you no matter what, they will stand beside you so you don't have to face nasty criticism & comments alone. And eventually, people will stop talking and get on with their lives, you will not be the target forever. But of course, face the problem and free yourself from this burden or continue ignoring it and let it weigh you down, the choice is all yours.

Thanks for the invitation (I guess it's for everyone who has replied, right ? ) Maybe someday I will visit Spain. Seems to be a nice country with cool people :icon_bigg

 

I just wanted to add regarding your bolded part - I find there's a big difference between realising your gay and then coming to terms with it. I remember when I first realised I was gay I had zero interest in coming out, no reason to come out and also probably an element of considering it was just a phase and it might change. When I knew it wasn't going to change is when I came to terms with it. So if you feel bad that you've known for a long time you were gay but hadn't come to terms with it, don't, I believe coming out is only possible once you've come to terms with it.

Referring mainly to your title, I know exactly what you mean. I am actually probably in the same boat too. I haven't had any first hand "real life" (that I can see happen with my eyes/hear with my ears basically) experience of a successful coming out. I don't know anyone offline who is gay.
When a celebrity around my age came out earlier in the year, that inspired me a little more. I joined EC not long after and came out to an online friend a little while after that. Fact is I haven't really progressed much since, mainly because I don't really feel much of an inspiration to do so, or even feel the need to. I'm sure that will change though.

The fact that you do have the desire to come out is a really good thing. You may be struggling with opportunities, but I believe that you will find they do. Those sort of situations you find yourself in the middle of when you suddenly realise "This is an opportunity". You just have to act on them. If you really want to come out like you suggest, you probably will

I so want to take up your Spain offer! :roflmao: I've been thinking for several months of travelling to one of three countries. Spain was one of those, but other issues have prevented that so far :bang:

 

You can try picking a person and day to do it and see if that works?? I'm very goal oriented and if I hadn't been an emotional mess at the time, that's how I would have done it If you have people who you know will be supportive, then go for it. It's not bad once you do it. I found it was really difficult to say the words I'm gay to someone, but it does get easier. The reality of it may be what's holding you back at the moment. Once you tell people, it becomes much more real, it's not a secret that only you know anymore. After you do come out, I suggest trying to find other LGBT individuals because you will probably feel alone even if everyone is supportive; they are straight and won't completely understand how you feel or what you will experience. Just a suggestion based on my experience.

 

Tell someone you 100% trust. For me it was my Mum. You're in a great situation- living in a city, having accepting parents, so just remember that things can't go that wrong

As for inspiration, picture your perfect future. Do you see yourself in a loving relationship with a guy? Lots of friends? Just picture that and know that you can have this!

Good luck If you ever want advice or just a chat, send me a message

 

Wow, I relate to this a whole lot!