This evening i was with my university group (insert random sport club here) talking about he ball coming up(friday). Normally i avoid these because i have no one to go with and don't like dancing due to being self conscience. But i am going to this one - god knows why. Thing is the group (none of whom i'm out to) started making bets if i'd pull or not. Unfortunetly i've pulled neither boys nor girls (which is really sad and depressing at 19). Our coach has volunteered himself as my 'wingman' to try and help the process. To be honnest the whole thing seems awkward. Chances are they will lose their bets - i doubt anyone will be intrested in me. But on the off chance i would feel wrong since i think i'm gay. To be honnest i don't want to tell them - some of them are quite immature though none of them would bully me out of hatred i'm sure . Any advice?(&&&)
I think I've lost something in the translation here... what does 'pull' mean? I'm assuming it means 'pick up' someone. I wouldn't feel pressured to come out before you are ready, just because you're going to a social event. You should be able to go this event with your team mates without feeling pressured to pick up anyone - guy or girl. Just relax and be yourself - and DANCE TOO! Don't worry about it if you're not that good at it, as long as you have a good time. I think I wasted a lot of nights out thinking I should be 'picking up' (and never successfully doing so!) and failed to really have a good time as a result. So you could go along with all their scheming, but then not try all that hard when you get there. Just have a good time. And in terms of being 19 and not having 'pulled' (whatever that means! lol!) I wouldn't worry about it either. There is another thread in here about when folks lost their virginity - and 19 certainly wasn't the oldest! I was 25. Hope this helps. Good luck.
In this context pull meant snog/kiss. I think it must be a british thing. And the virginity thing didn't inspire confidence in me at all.
Thanks for the clarification. It certainly is a british thing - not an expression used here in Canada. At any rate - I wouldn't worry about it. Plus, if you only 'think' you're gay, it wouldn't hurt to 'snog' with a girl - it takes two to tango and she'd likely enjoy it as much as you. Any techniques you pick up from your buddies or your coach in picking up women could be applied to picking up guys too later on - just being comfortable, approachable, friendly, making small talk, etc. It wouldn't be a complete loss to brush up on some of those skills. But as I said, don't pressure yourself. Go and have a good time.
To be honest mate I wouldn't worry about it too much. Just stop focusing on the bad bits and start planning to have a good time. Having been out on many nights on the lash with loads of friends who are trying to help me pull (yeah right), I can't say that there's ever really been a problem. The moment you start freaking out and dreading it is when all things do down hill. Just go along with a positive attitude, if you don't want to let on that you're gay that's all well and good. Just turn up, have a laugh and a joke, drink yourself silly and then when you're too drunk to remember anything venture out on to the dance floor. Personally that's what I tend to do, having no faith in my own dancing ability... but when you're drunk no-one cares! As far as the 'pulling' goes, don't be tempted to get a girl just to put on a show (unless she fully knows what she's getting herself in to). I have done this before, and have never regretted anything more. It's just not fair to them, when you break their heart but you've never genuinly been interested. So have a good time, just chat with everyone there and before you know it your coach will be so off his head he'll have forgotten all about setting you up. Besides if all else fails you can have a bit of an afterparty down your local gay bar. Sure the team mates would love that. Have a good time fella
