In the past year i came out to myself ,my family,my friends and almost to everyone that i know .Being in the middle east it was hard to do such a thing but one thing led to another. I was happy when i did that regardless what i've been through and i never had a second thought to hide the real me until a couple of weeks ago . I decided then to hide back in the closet and denying that i'm gay to everyone. http://emptyclosets.com/forum/coming-out-advice/147527-i-decided-go-back-closet.html . Today was another major day in my life . I couldn't handle being in the dark again even though my life became much easier when i stepped back . But i wasn't happy to go back , every day i became more depressed and unhappy . I'm taking a psychiatry course nowadays . And today's lecture affected me so much that i have started crying in the middle of the lecture . The doctor told me that i'm free to leave the class and to meet him later , or to share what i've been through with my friends and colleagues . So i decided to speak up and strangely some of my friends started to cry and some spoke up and encouraged me to hang in there . So in general ,they were really supportive and i was so relieved . The doctor was so great , he talked after that how small comments of the other might give a hard time for me and for those who are still hiding . He told us about a patient he used to see that was gay and wanted to change that to satisfy the community and his family . And how sadly he commit a suicide after one week of his marriage . He told us that some words may end lives so be careful of what you are saying . After the class i felt overwhelming and happy , my friends invited me to have lunch outside and they surprised me with a little party this night . I know that not all of the rest of the students will be accepting as this group but i'm happy and that's what matter . For those who are still in the closet , take your time and come out whenever the opportunity comes . Don't rush things and choose carefully who to tell first so that you will have their support when you come out to more people .
Wow, you've been through a lot this past week. Although I've been to Jordan, I can't begin to imagine the pressures that accompany being out in your country. Hang in there. Surround yourself with your supportive friends, and also supportive doctors like your psychiatry lecturer. Talk to them about your challenges, how you lose jobs, etc. They can become your greatest allies in navigating the few years there you still have.
Thanx guys :icon_wink So , you have been here and i'm very sure you can tell how things works out in these countries . Hopefully someday this will change , but i doubt due to the religious nature . And yah , supportive friends is all what we need to get through anything :icon_bigg
