When I started coming out about two years ago, I made a list of people who I wanted to come out to in person. As of yesterday, I finished the list. Most people I interact with every day still don't know, but I also don't see why I should have to announce my orientation to everyone. If it came up, I would probably decide whether to come out to them on a case by case basis. I live in an extremely homophobic religious community (even wearing pants publicly has been a really big deal), and I just don't think it's worth it to be open with everyone given the backlash I would get. I've heard that people consider themselves to be out when it's not a secret anymore and they come out whenever it comes up naturally. I don't know that this kind of situation is going to apply to me until I am able to change my living arrangements, and even then when I return to visit my family, I can't see this changing. Everyone important knows, and I hope to be more honest with people when I feel emotionally safe doing so. So at what point, do I consider myself to be out?
Well I'd say you are, considering your current circumstances. Everyone you deem important to you knows, so I would say that you are out. Does your family know though?
I personally think being "out" is when you're at a state of mind where you are comfortable with your sexuality and you're not afraid to express to people who ask. It doesn't mean that you have to stand at the tallest building with a megaphone but as long as you're not hiding away your sexuality to people, you can normally be considered to be "out". Other people may have different opinions on the term but maybe mine will help a little. Congratulations on coming out to the people who you set out to tell, that's an amazing accomplishment! You should be really proud of that alone. (*hug*)
I think that you're "out", based on the information that you've provided. You completed the list of people that you wanted to come out to. Around them now, you can be your true self and happy. You don't have to tell every person in a ten mile radius your sexuality, but telling those that are important to you= yes, you are out.
