(I hope i'm not messing up and putting this in the wrong place.) I wanted to write a long thing about stuff and more stuff but I realized i'm terrible at explaining my feelings. I hope this whole thing isn't as stupid as it sounds to me. I guess before I go into any details, I should say that i'm really critical of everything I do and say, and it makes it very hard for me to write stuff like this without feeling like an idiot. Everything I do makes me hate myself more. Even when I know I did nothing wrong, I still have this urge to make myself feel as awful as I can; maybe part of me likes feeling awful, or maybe I feel like I deserve to feel awful. Anyway, I guess i'm just kinda weird. I really hate being guy. I hate the way i'm treated, what i'm supposed to do, and the way i'm supposed to act. I hate who I am and everything I do. I have no friends where I live and kinda just seclude myself in my room away from everyone else. I want to come out to my parents, but I know this would be an awful decision because I don't want to make all my friends and family hate me. I'm kinda stumped on what to do. Please spare some magical wisdom~
Kind of scattered from just waking up but let me tell you I feel the same way. I don't like being a guy at all either. And I am my own worst critic too. I'm sure we can talk more soon. Thanks for posting. (*hug*)
Well, the only thing I can advise without you being suspected (sounds like you really want to avoid that) is to simply dress and act a bit more femininely. You might be seen as gay if you do it excessively, though, and that might bring more attention. Frankly, you will have to come out eventually, and my best advice is to slowly confide in understanding people you know you can trust. Sorry I can't help more than this.
