I have had it absolutely had it. Sorry hey guys. Lately I have been getting these comments a lot: 'Hows your girlfriend?' 'When you and your wife...' 'Your wife is going to be so lucky' What do you look for in a girl' I keep getting this comments from my dad,(btw I don't actually have a GF) and he is constantly implying that I like girls, and I know he doesn't know yet, but is it so hard for a parent to say 'partner' instead of 'girlfriend' or 'boyfriend' in a lesbians case. Every time I hear this comments it pushes me back into the closet. Not only does it make me angry but I also get really awkward and just look away, because I don't have an answer. Gaaah, it's just makes me soo.... Pissed. Sorry if you've read this far, I am just trying to let my feeling out.
You can't exactly blame your father for saying things like this since he doesn't actually know or suspect that you're gay. My advice would be to try not to take notice of these questions or maybe just think of them differently. For example if your father says "What do you look for in a girl?" Just imagine him saying "What do you look for in a guy?" And apply the qualities you look for in a guy into a girl, if that makes sense...
There IS a slight chance that your father has perhaps picked up on something, and wonders if you might be gay. And all the gf-wife talk is an attempt to either get you to talk about it, or even subtly "nudge you back into heterosexuality". (Yes, I know it doesn't work like that, but not all parents know that.) That said, I think ot's far more likely that he's simply playing the percentage game. He's probably being heteronormative, which may not be the politest thing but isn't malicious. How do you deal with it? It sounds like you're not ready to sow seeds just yet ("maybe I won't have a girlfriend - maybe I'l have a boyfriend"). So just pretend he said something more inclusive. When he says "girlfriend", switch it to "girl or boyfriend" in your head. When he says "wife", think "partner". And feel free to keep your answers vague. "How's your girlfriemd?" "Still hypothetical." "What do you look for in a girl?" "Not sure yet. Still trying to work that out. Haven't met anyone that really interested me yet." Lex
Thanks guys, I understand that he doesn't know or that he might 'suspect', it just gets on my nerves that's all. I guess I just got to learn to ignore it.
The obvious solution to this problem is to come out to him, and then he won't be asking about your girlfriend. Give some thought to having a talk with him about your sexuality sooner rather than later. You don't have to blurt it outright to him, but you can tell him that you don't find any girls attractive, and therefore you don't expect to be dating any girls, so he doesn't need to ask about your girlfriends. That opens him to ask questions or to at least drop the hinting about girlfriends, and to start him thinking about where you might be going in the future, to ease him into the reality of who you are.
