Hey Everyone, I have posted a few times on Empty Closets, mainly about confusion with being gay, and have found the replies to be very helpful. Although I have had some confusion (I think I suffer from HOCD), I know that I am gay. I also believe that being in the closet for this long has caused some of this confusion. I came out to my mom and siblings about 8 years ago, but I still haven't told my dad. He is pretty homophobic, and I just can't seem to do it whenever I see him (we live 300 miles apart). Most other family members don't know either, but simply because he doesn't. He is visiting right now, and I still haven't told him. He is leaving Sunday afternoon, and I just don't see myself coming out to him during the next 12 hours. Is a private Facebook message an ok way to come out to him? Although I want to tell him in person, I just can't seem to get the courage to do so. I feel like a Facebook message would allow me to plan this out and say everything that I want to say to him. I'm sure a conversation on the phone would take place after he read the Facebook message. Is this a bad idea? Any thoughts? Thanks, Jonathan
I don't really know but I'd go for a more personal approach? Like a letter or an email well written out and why you decided to tell him through a letter and not directly on the phone.
If you are going to write it, then I agree that writing a letter and posting it to him is the better way.
I think in this day and age, facebook is too impersonal, but I know what you mean about rather writing it down.. I express myself better through the written word as well.. I think a letter.. Write a letter, and you can still plan what you say, and either post it to him or even stick it in his bag so he will see it once he is home and unpacking but facebook I don't think is the right forum to do it, even if it's a private message.
although i havent yet come out to either of my parents, i dont think you should do it over facebook, you should tell him in person when you're ready
I just came out to my brother over the weekend by writing him a note and leaving it in a place he could read it. I agree, a handwritten, snail mail letter is probably a better way to go about it than a Facebook message. And as many above have said, you can order your thoughts and you won't lose your train of thought and falter - it means you can say everything you want to and you then don't have the pressure of remembering everything. Good luck with it.
Definitely a letter rather than Facebook...and then I think you're right a phonecall may follow...good luck with it all
We're talking about a private message on Facebook, not Facebook posting to the world (I came out the latter way, but that's what worked for ME - it doesn't have to be that way for anyone else). The important thing is to do what works for you. If that's a private message on Facebook, great. If it's posting a letter, then wonderful! If smoke signals are your thing, that's fine too! I don't believe that anyone can tell you what's going to work for you - that's a decision that you have to make. I think that a Facebook private message is a wonderful way to come out to your dad. Good luck!
I agree. The best way to come out is the way you prefer. If you want to write it down, a private message on Facebook is OK. As other people suggested, you could write to him an e-mail or a letter. But that's your decision. All the best. (*hug*)
I'm sorry but I really think that you should do this privately, I don't think this should be something that everyone can see. If you want to do it then do it but I wouldn't recommend it. I would say its better to write him a note or talk to him personally but this is just my opinion.
I mean, he's your damn father. Don't treat him like one of your Facebook friends that you've talked to 1-2 times. Write a personal letter to him, showing that you put thought into coming out and you really do care about your relationship with him. Just my two cents.
