A world where "coming out" doesn't exist

Majority dictates the rules, unfortunately. And seeing how heterosexuals are majority, I doubt being anything other than straight will become the norm in a full sense. There's always going to be expectations of a person to be attracted to the opposite sex, get married and have babies. On a positive note, I do believe more people will be accepting in the future and make less of a big deal out of it.

 

To be honest, as sexual orientation and gender become more cemented around 5, I think it's miseducation that makes coming out necessary. At that young an age, still in kindergarten, I think that if a kid liked a boy, and he knew that liking boys was "a thing," he would be fine with announcing that. I think that this might also be true with trans*, but unfortunately, feminine boys are picked on pretty much always.

So, basically, I think that if kids knew that what they felt is "a thing," then they'd probably admit that as they found out, and while it might not help the homophobia of society, it would make those kids' loves a little easier.

I wanted to say "and homosexuality and transgenderism will probably be seen as more normal" but I realized homophobes would say that we "taught" them how to be gay.

AlezinwondRland, I love your post and your message, and totally agree that that would be a great place.

 

I feel the same way. hate the idea of having to sit people down an tell them I'm different to them and wait to see if they approve of me or not.
I'm going to live my life as normal and do what i want. and if someone happens to ask I'll tell them.

 

I think there is some thinking heading in this direction. I'm sure across the globe it'll be a long time from now, but in more liberal areas you sometimes see people more open to the possibility without necessarily considering a label as the first question. For example, my friends have a 9 month old and joking around we'd say "we're going to embarrass the heck out of him with these stories when he brings a girl home".. then someone might add "Or a boy, that's cool too!" So, I could see a world, probably in the distant future, where someone simply mentions the name or gender of their crush or partner and that is all it takes to "come out" because awareness is such that while most people are straight not all are.

Not all that long ago mixed race couples were taboo in the US, now, while it's still not quite as common, people hardly bat an eye. Hopefully things will eventually become that way for same sex couples at some point, too.

 

The first step is to encourage LGBT lessons in schools, especially from a young age such as 6-10 before bullying in schools starts to occur in teen years. Obviously sexual content should be kept away however showing children about the ideas of relationships and orientation should be discussed. If people are able to comprehend arithmetic and religious view, they can easily understand LGBT concepts.

It wont be an immediate effects but this would definitely have future generations growing up with a wider variety sexual norms. The only reason that this has not taken place is because of religious dominance over the past centuries which is still lingering in select individuals.

 

This sounds like an amazing future. Every time someone mentions me getting a boyfriend, or boys thinking I'm cute, or anything, it feels like a slap to the face. I think LGBT lessons in grade school are a great idea. It's too bad it hasn't already happened already. I would feel better if they mentioned homosexuality and bisexuality back then.

 

For my part if schools bothered to explain in grade school that a persons body does not indicate how they should feel or behave (socially), that would have changed my entire life.

 

I have to agree with this.

I am not offended when someone assumes I am straight and cis, because I understand the majority of people are.

But, I would love to be able to just say, "Oh, no, I'm actually a trans guy who likes other boys." But I can't.

That's a more realistic future, to me.

 

I agree that majority dictates the rules. Being straight seems to be an automatic default sexuality, and as long as that mindset is there, an "opt-out" system will have to be in place. But I also think that as long as tolerance is taught from a young age, the burden of coming out will eventually disappear.

 

Heteronormativity is deeply woven into Western culture's understanding of human life and human gender. Much of the deep texture of our culture assumes heterosexuality and works to reinforce it.

I would not count on what you describe happening anytime soon...

 

And, if I'm right and education is the key to understanding and being able to "come out" as soon as you know you're LGBTQ+, then laws like the proposed "don't say gay" bill aren't exactly doing us a favor. I mean, it utterly disgusts me that such a bill would ever even be considered!

 

The majority of people are straight so people will always have to come out, it may just be more like expressing your opinion on your flavour of pizza than admitting a life style in the future.

 

Hmmm, I struggle with the pizza analogy. Will it ever be that casual? After all, gayness is a major block to human fertility. That will always have significance.

I also think liberal parents today, at least those who profess to be LGBT friendly, actually deal with a lot of issues - sometimes silently - upon discovering their child is queer. There aren't in reality many families who have an authentically blasé response, IMO, so getting that to be universal may take a while.

 

I was thinking about this a couple of days ago. My friend was telling me I need experience to know for sure (and she's gay). I thought, no one ever tells a straight virgin that they need experience to know for sure. They just know, and so do we, and if we were considered as normal as heterosexuals, then yes, it would be a matter of figuring it out during puberty and go from there. Whichever way people feel is right would be considered ok, and not deviant. It would be so nice to get rid of this closet for everyone. But there are many problems which limit this as a possibility. A big one is homophobia, but even just changing the expectations of parents that their child will grow up and marry someone of the opposite sex, and have children. There shouldn't be a grieving process when your child is not straight, there isn't anything to grieve because everything they want for them is still possible. I was upset thinking about all of this the other day, and it isn't right because there is nothing abnormal about us, we are just as normal as heterosexuals. The way I was able to deal with it is to remind myself that this is my goal: normalize everything LGBTQ. Not to worry, I don't actually have expectations this will happen, but hopefully through my research and work I can make a small contribution.

 

I definitely understand that, but I'm just thinking that just admitting your sexuality could not necessarily be on the same level as just admitting your favorite topping on a pizza. An assumption exists. It's definitely wrong, but I don't really know if that could be fixed. I think that's a part of that has to do with the environment a person grows up in. I mean, a kid's first instincts is in part to mimic their parents because they admire them and that's all they really know of the world. If the parents were straight, then the kid might think they'll have their own wife/husband one day because that's all they know of a happy family (so far). Of course, that's wrong, but it's like a default setting for them, whereas just admitting your favorite flavor of pizza isn't like tied in with your nationality. I feel that the most ideal thing to do would be to have more exposure and positive connotations connected to being gay/bi/or whatever orientation from a young age in order to drill in the concept that there's more than one way to be happy. Right now, I think the burden of coming out is more because of the negative connotations/stereotypes attached.

I mean, I really hate that it's like this right now. If it was a perfect world, I wouldn't be on this forum lol, and more people wouldn't be suppressing their sexuality. And I wouldn't have to lie when a friend came up to me today to ask me, "How's that straight life going?" But I think if more tolerance/positive connotations/exposure existed, then the world can come pretty close to unburdening the pressure of coming out.

I don't know. I feel like we're parroting the same things, but through different means lol

 

So is this basically a world where everyone is gay and if you are straight you have to come out? (role reversal) Or is it a world where no one assumes you are anything and you can just live without there being prejudice and everyone is just whatever they are? If so dig both worlds. They sound great lol.

 

That nobody assumes. That being straight or gay is like a favorite color, you can freely admit it as soon as you decide, and you won't be seen as strange or different because of it.