The title pretty much says it all. I just can't hold this in anymore and I have to tell somebody soon. I'm thinking of my mom, but she might have to look for a second job and still has to deal with supporting me and my three siblings. I'm not sure if she can handle her youngest daughter liking girls and if this is the right moment. A large part of me is telling me to come out, and a tiny part is saying that now is not the time. The only things I'm worried about is if she'll accept me and if she'll just out me to the rest of the family. I already accidentally outed myself to my sister. I don't want everyone to know just because someone else told them or I outed myself without even meaning to. I want to tell them myself, intentionally. But at the same time, I'm terrified. I just don't know what to do... Any advice? :help:
Come out because you want to, not because you have to. If you're having thoughts in the back of your mind telling you not to, then it's best to listen to them, because it shows that you're not entirely comfortable with the idea. Part of you is still doubtful and, to make sure you can come out in the most 'enjoyable' fashion, you want to make sure you're 100% for it. If you're in a family situation where your parents are at a tough point, then it is often better to wait until better times so they can have the most rational responses. You want to make sure they have as much time as possible so that, if they choose, they have time to support and show their unchanged love for you as a child.
You come out whenever you are ready to come out, whenever your circumstances allow... But let me tell you one thing. That 'now isn't the right time' thing will never go away. Trust me, you will always find excuses for why it isn't the right time. If you feel like your mom could come to terms with your being gay (aka not kick you out or be completely horrible to you) and you feel safe coming out then by all means do it and if you don't want her telling everyone then you could ask her not to tell anyone? I can't imagine a mom being as insensitive as to tell people if she's specifically being asked not to. She probably wouldn't want to advertise her daughter being gay to everyone whether she was okay with it or not.
Come out when you're ready. If you do actually "need" to come out, I suggest first doing it with a friend, just to gauge their reaction and realize that most of the time, their reaction is better than what you thought their reaction would be. I kinda haven't come out either. One of my pansexual friends who moved knows indirectly as I asked her for advice in that weird, awkward way, saying it was for a friend (I never really said, "I'm gay" but she used deductive logic). But I felt so much better knowing that I can rant to her without hiding anything. If you're not ready for that yet, don't do it.
I suggest starting with friends or others who you know you can trust, and then possibly go farther. I don't know your mother, but unless she's really homophobic, I don't think the stress it will place on her will be considerable enough to merit you staying uncomfortable with your family.
Thanks for all of your advice. I think I'm going to come out to a friend first, though I don't have any idea as to which friend yet. Maybe now isn't really the time. And I know I don't "need" to come out per say, I just really wanted to during the time I wrote this.
