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How to bring it up sexuality to a friend? :/

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by mfcfc, Aug 18, 2014.

  1. mfcfc

    Regular Member

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    I've only recently come out to myself as liking girls, but have only told one friend yet who is bi and who I know I can trust. I haven't as yet told my closest friend, who is also bi and wouldn't tell anyone, and I really really want to, but I'm hesitating for a few reasons:

    •I've only known her for about a year, and while we're close I'm not her best friend, so I don't want her to think I'm just saying it to try to seem more like her
    •If she doesn't, I don't want her to think I like her
    •We live in different countries and aren't likely to meet up for six months at least, so it's all sporadic online chatting
    •I wouldn't know how to bring it up at all (I told my other friend after a peeedie bit of vodka)

    I know this is a few problems I guess :stuck_out_tongue_closed_eyes:, but does anyone have any ideas how I could bring it up/tell her in a way that seems sincere & natural? :slight_smile:
     
  2. CongoColorado

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    Maybe you can start out by asking if you can ask her something, if she says yes, then just come out quickly to her. Coming out online is much easier than real life.
    Maybe it can go like this:
    "Hey, can I tell you something real quick?"
    "Anything."
    "I'm bi/gay."
    Sorry if this sucks, just not even information has been put :stuck_out_tongue_closed_eyes:.
     
  3. Candace

    Regular Member

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    I think that you should go out for a casual activity, say coffee or lunch. While there, just casually slip it into the conversation. Maybe just say that you're interested in/dating (insert person's name), thereby giving her the obvious hint that you're anything but straight. This also makes it less awkward for you since it doesn't show that you're interested in your friend.

    The other option is for you to just tell her online via Facebook, email, etc., something of that nature. You can write down what you want to say, formulate everything into an effective and coherent message, then send it to her. You know why I know this works? I did it the first time I came out. It makes the process go along much smoother. I guarantee it :slight_smile:
     
  4. Undermine

    Regular Member

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    Gender:
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    Sexual Orientation:
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    Out to everyone
    I have a similar issue in that I don't feel I can be completely open about my sexuality to everyone and have a feeling that some people would take it the wrong way and make incorrect assumptions about me. I understand that ideally everyone should just let me be and not judge, but we don't live in an ideal world. I don't think my sexuality should define me or that I should even have to tell people. It's not like straight people should be telling everyone "I'm straight, I like women/men", but we're the minority so it's different. I have so much respect for people who can totally own it and wear it despite all that.

    One could go crazy thinking about it hard enough for long enough.